by Ana Cage
it's to my love. i know there are caps errors, don't comment if you don't like it.
|because i know you'll never read this message, i'm gonna say everything that needs to be said. granted the majority of it, i've said before. but it doesn't really matter anymore. i love you. i really do. whether you believe it or not, that's up to you. but i have been in love with you for almost four years.
when i first met you, i thought you were a schmuck. you were cocky and you talked a lotta shit. you name-dropped like a bitch and strutted around like you were just awesome. and you know what? i really did think you were awesome. you were such a dork. you believed in dark spirits and black magic and cursed swords; you were perfect. i had some of my greatest adventures with you. you made me truly happy. you let me escape from all the hurt i had to go through as soon as i got home. and i thank you for that.
then after a year and four months of not seeing you or talking to you, i got you back. i took a big risk and told you i loved you. i remember that. i always will. the thing is, i meant it. i meant it with every single ounce of my being. i still love you. i don't think you know that i really truly do love you with all my heart and i always will. you mean everything to me and i don't ever want you to forget that. even though you will.
you'll forget that i even exist. you'll forget that i tattooed your name across my heart. you'll forget all the times i told you i'd love yo forever, and that i really do. you will never think about that first time we slept together, or the time you kissed me for the first time, or when we went adventuring like old times. you'll never think of that night we spent in Cody's room, when you asked me to marry you. i was so happy i cried. but you won't remember that.
Joe, i'm in love with you. i always will be. you made me the happiest person ever. when we went to the rocks and you stood up on that ledge and hugged me, i felt complete again. i was happy. i have not been happy in so long. i want that again. i would kill to have that back. to wake up next to you and it NOT be a dream would mean the world to me. you don't have any idea how many mornings i have heard my alarm go off and wished with all my heart that it would stop so i could hold onto those last few minutes of sleep when i have you back. i can never sleep though. if i'm lucky enough to pass out, i don't want to wake up. because then i have you back and everything is okay again.
that never lasts long though. nothing good in my life ever seems to. thank you though, for everything.
thank you for a wonderful adventure; for making me smile and making me happy. thank you for showing me the true power of how much you can really love someone. thank you for changing my life. thank you for making me feel like i could do something and that there was, at least at some point, hope for a future for me, for us.
i love you Joseph Flynn Terry. i'm never going to stop. i'm never going to give up hope. i will always love you with everything i am. when i picture my future i still see you there. right by my side. i still see us running a shop and having a family. i still picture being able to say "we did it." to look at my hands and your hands and know that that they built our life together. that we earned every penny we ever made and told the world to kiss our asses. that's the future i see. the one that i still want.
i will miss you til the day i die. i will love you just as long. i just hope that someday, somehow, you'll come back to me. that things will be alright again.
you are forever in my heart,
i love you.