My best friend and crush are the best couple. I'm so jealous...
|UGH! WHY, GOD, WHY?! They're holding hands. They've recently been crowned "cutest couple". Of COURSE they were. She looks my way and gives me a wide, perfect, supermodel smile. I smile back and hold my hand up in an awkward half-wave. I've been so jealous. She's my best friend. I should be happy for her. I should. But I'm not. She doesn't know about my mega-crush on her boyfriend. I've kept it to myself for months... watching in pain when her eyes brighten up whenever she sees him. I was there when he shyly smiled and asked her out. I act like I'm happy.
How could you be happy for someone when they're dating someone you desperately want to hold? You can't. I fake it. Very well, too. But I'm just playing make-believe... thinking, if I don't say it out loud it won't be true. Pretending to think they make the perfect couple. Faking a smile. Listening to her unknowingly rub it in my face that she has a perfect boyfriend.
Me? I've never had a boyfriend. I've never been kissed. Why should I have? I'm not model-perfect. I don't attract attention, ever. I'm just a plain-jane. There's nothing special about me. But her... she's beautiful. Perfect face, perfect body, perfect... everything. While I'm getting D's and F's, she's getting straight A's. She's never gotten anything lower than an 89% on anything. People only notice me when I'm walking along side her. They still don't care about me.
The only words ever spoken by a boy to me? "Can you move your head? I can't see the board". Nice, huh?
I was tired of nobody caring about me. So, so tired. So, once I got home, I found a rope and tied it in my closet. And with trembling hands, I forever said goodbye to the world.