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Rated: E · Essay · Satire · #1750349
A short satire on the world and canada's oil.
It’s been a long days work, and upon arriving at your abode, you head for the refrigerator. Wrenching open the door, you blink into the newly created glow, searching. Shoving aside last night’s leftovers, you reach for the golden liquid that you’ve been waiting for. Carefully unscrewing the cap of the carton, you relish the fact that soon, the soreness in your throat will be vanquished. At long last, you poor the elixir into the waiting glass in your hand. And then you frown.

At the moment, I can think of nothing worse than being denied the pleasure of a tall glass of orange juice. Everyone wants a taste of it, some want a glass, and there are others who drink cup after endless cup until they have to relieve themselves, thus starting the process all over again. The thoughtlessness of my competitors for this limited substance is shocking! How could they be oblivious to the fact that I need it more? That I need my vitamin c to give me the energy to get where I want to go! How inconsiderate! Lucky for me I can just go to the super store and buy some more. But there were whispers at the main supermarket that orange trees were dying out. What! No more orange Juice? What would happen to me if I didn’t get my daily dose of vitamins and minerals!
When my American friend Paige heard of the shortage, she started coming over to my house on a regular basis to fuel up. Then the European exchange student from my math class started visiting my house as well. But I was fine; I still had my source supplying the orange juice. Even after my pen pal from Asia asked me to send her a couple of juice boxes, I was confident that I could supply enough for all of my multi-cultural friends. But statistics don’t lie. By the year 2040, all of the earth’s orange juice will be completely depleted. My principal suggested that we all lower our orange juice intake so that it will last longer, but I said, “if the other students don’t drink less O-J, why should I?” So though my house has remained the largest orange juice storage in the world (due to mom freezing over a million barrels and storing them underground in 1948) I suppose I can’t keep it up for long.
I hate people drinking all of my orange juice; and what’s worse is when they leave a few drops at the bottom and consider it enough to be put back in the fridge. Doing this, they make themselves feel better with the illusion that they’ve left some orange juice for the next guy that comes along. They turn a blind eye towards the quickly disappearing juice, even though the demand for juice is much higher than the juice being concentrated. I’m afraid the only solution is to become less dependant on my favorite breakfast drink, so that when I do run out at age 58, I will have found a way to transfer all of the nutrients from juice into fresh water; until that runs out too, anyway.

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