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Rated: E · Article · Entertainment · #1750542
Article about recent Glastonbury festival rumours
Unless you've been living in some fanciful world where the internet doesn't exist (in which case, what are you doing reading this? Weirdo.), you'd
know that fairly reputable entertainment site Holy Moly have revealed what they believe to be the three Pyramid headliners of this year's Glastonbury Festival.


This follows on from a supposed Sun 'exclusive' at the weekend solidifying suspicions that Michael's "two comebacks and a woman" were well and truly in place for this year's festival. Unlike previous rumours (Rolling Stones, Bowie, etc, etc,.. basically every rock band on the planet if forums are to be believed), this time in a rather unexpected move, the media have actually agreed on something. And isn't it marvellous. Unless of course you don't like Beyonce, U2 or Coldplay, i,e. the 3 headliners supposedly set to grace the Pyramid stage this June. The observant amongst you may have noticed that I wrote all this build up in a bid to postpone mentioning said headliners for as long as possible- needless to say I'm not impressed.

U2 was always going to be a given after their cancellation last year, so I'd already resigned myself to the Other stage on that particular night, but Coldplay?
Really?
On the basis of their thoroughly disappointing last album, I can't say they're particularly 'deserving' of the spot. 5 years ago? Definitely. Now? I'm not so sure. They're bound to put on a good show, but after a night of U2 who aren't a million miles away from Chris et al, is this really what people want? Well, maybe. I guess on the one hand you could say that the gloominess of Coldplay at their best (back in the days of The Scientist and Clocks) is still as relevant as ever, considering the current political and economic situation we find ourselves in. None of us are getting any richer (besides the bankers), Cameron's out to destroy the trees using books as kindling and dead things keep falling out of the sky. So perhaps now is the time for a Coldplay resurgence. Besides which, with Martin's falsetto and the solid musicianship of the rest of the band, they're sure to make their presence felt, a lot more than can be said for past headliners *cough KOL cough.*

As far as Beyonce goes, she's alright but I'd have thought perhaps an afternoonish 'Shakira' slot would be more apt- mostly because a large proportion of her fanbase will have gone to bed by the time the headline slot rolls around. As for me, if if she ain't playing Destiny's Child (the soundtrack of my childhood), I'm not interested. Her new stuff is very good and there's no denying her amazing voice, but it's just not my thing anymore. That's not to say she shouldn't headline however; she's certainly got the album sales and fame to warrant it, even if it's a bit 'different' for a festival that has always had a strong indie/rock emphasis over the years in terms of headliner material.

So all in all, I can't say I'm thrilled. After 3 years of remaining loyal to the Pyramid stage for at least one of my summer evenings, it seems I shall be deflecting to the 'dark side.' But that's ok, because believe it or not there's more than just the one stage at Glastonbury, so the dark side will involve the surreal wonderment of Shangri La, which excites me just as much as the music.

Pyramid Stage, what Pyramid Stage?
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