The most beautiful girl I have met in my life.
|I'm here at a shoddy place.
My car is parked amidst muck right infront of an alcohol vendor.
I look shabby myself right now,standing outside,leaning against my dust laden vehicle.
I have a can of beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other.
It's closing time for the shop but I have my complete quota at the back of my car and I'm not intending to go back home any time soon.
Nobody will recognize me even if they see me standing here in this shithole because of the distinct variations in my appearances during work hour and post work hour.
I didn't go to a better place or call any of my friends just so that I could be alone and talk to myself and keep looking at the moonlit sky above.
I feel like the whole world's conspiring against me to bring me down, to snatch everything that I like, away from me;this depression;this chaos;I'm losing faith in myseslf to deal with any of this.Life has turned around and for the worst.Nothing seems to be going my way.
Meanwhile my can is finished and so is my smoke.I'm just about to throw the can in the garbage dump sitting across me,when a girl comes running and asks for the can.I'm annoyed seeing the girl.Angry because my privacy has been disturbed.I shout at her and ask her to get lost.She probably doesn't understand the language.She stands there expecting.I point my finger towards the opposite side with a ferocious look on my face and ask her to leave.Her head drops and shoulders droop and she walks away.
As soon as she's gone I feel realaxed again.Relaxed knowing that there's no one around while I'm standing here drinking and crying out to the heavens with tear drops in my eyes.
I open the door and grab a can from my car,light up another smoke.
I'm back to my contemplating self now.Thinking about all that has gone wrong and all that could have easily gone right.I look at the sky above.I'm perplexed by the constancy of the sky right above my head.Three things which I see alomost everyday standing here drinking;the moon in its various stages ,the small star twinkling right next to it and the Orion constellation as bright as ever.The Orion, we were taught in school, looks like a hunter,a person.Never have I been clearer and accepting of that thought than the past few days.I take Orion as the universal power sitting right above my head in the skies and I ask him the reasons for the failures in my life , for the mishaps and for all the agony and pain I have been going through,never once cursing him though for the fear of making the hunter strike me with a blaze of lightning with anger.Most often I dont get a response for my griefs from the superpower,understandably so,there would be a million people like me sharing their grievances with him.But today I sense a response from the hunter.One star right at the center of the hunter twinkles.Perhaps he's acknowledging my grief and asking me to be patient or maybe he's saying you sow what you reap or perhaps I'm just plain drunk.I prefer the first choice and feel there's some hope left.I feel good.Feels like ages since I last felt good.
I open the door to my car,grab another can and with one big sip I gulp down half of its contents still holding the empty can in my other hand.I'm about to throw the empty container when the girl from before appears right back from nowhere.Now she talks.She talks gibberish.Atleast I get hold of the language.A local dialect.She pleads me for the empty can so she can collect and sell it off to the garbage collector in the morning for one-hundreth the actual price of the can.I dont respond but something catches my attention.Her eyes in bright moonlight,the most amazing pair of eyes, I reckon, I have seen till date.They are a shade of turquoise.I have never seen anyone with those eyes except for on television and cinemas.Her face is tanned and full of dirt,her nose is running with all the muck in the world,her hair is braided naturally,by collecting dust and dirt,an old extremely filthy grime-laden oversize tee-shirt covers her till her knees,her legs are covered with the most disgusting things one could imagine,her toe-nails,they are growing out in every shape possible,she looks like she just had a long swim in a pool full of garbage.
But her eyes...her eyes are a gift of God...
Surprisingly, she doesn't stink as much as I'd expect; probably that has got to do with my own alcohol filled breath.
All this while she's pleading me to give the empty can of beer to her and now she just stands and looks at me with a fair bit of amazement.Perhaps because I have been just standing there looking at her ,staring, not talking, like a zombie.
Just when her head begins to drop,my mouthline carves a smile all the while staring at her.
She smiles back with her hope rejuvenated.She smiles extending her hand in the most innocent manner I have ever seen anyone extending their hand towards me.I smile and hand the empty can over to her.She grabs it and asks me to signal her when the other can of beer is also done with.I'm happy with her confidence that there is a sort of companionship that has been formed between us,that from here on I am not going to shout or get irritated with her.I sense a kind of bliss in my mind and body that I'll never be able to express in words but I'm content at the moment.I keep my half empty can of beer on top of my car and grab the pack of cigarettes and light one.Soon enough, I forget about the can lying atop and I realize I'm not holding my drink and get to the back of my car and open another beer.I start taking sips from the can and miraculously all my depression and agony has disappeeared.I'm happy and want to cherish this moment till it lasts.I'm done with the beer now and signal to the little girl sitting a short distance away on a rock besides a tree.She's clearly been constantly looking at me and she picks my signal and comes running to me.I extend my hand to give her the empty can and she snatches it happily with glowing,sparkling eyes.Suddenly I cant seem to notice the filth all over her that I did the first time.All I see is beauty and innocence.She points to the can atop my car which I had forgotten about.I foolishly take the can and check whether there's something left in it.More than half of the beer is still intact.But I empty it on the ground and I give her the can.Her hands are full but she adjusts somehow.She smiles at me happily with the twinkle in her eyes.She mumbles something which I frankly don't understand.Probably she says she's thankful and she runs away.A small frame about six or seven years old,she stops just once,turns back,smiles at me and disappears.
I take my last drag from the cigarette and throw the stub away.Blowing the smoke I look heaven-wards and stare at the hunter.The whole frame of the constellation twinkles all at once.And I know I have found hope and learnt how to accept things as they are and find happiness all along even if in small measure.I smile content and take to the wheel and drive towards my home thinking probably I might never see the little girl again and perhaps, that was her role in my life,to make me understand the impact of gathering small moments of happiness.
This I shall never forget .It's come from the most beautiful girl I've ever met!