This is just two long paragraphs of my thoughts of immortality and fading away.
|Life doesn't seem to be worth living anymore. The years seem to be blending together, the world no longer as it seems anymore. The days becoming one, the ability to live, to feel, to be is becoming harder and harder. Taiga could not understand this feeling...this deep despair that has taken root in her heart. Could anyone understand that her will, her hold on reality was slowly slipping from her hands? That she was fading away from the world and time itself? No longer could she keep track as the sun rose and fell, the moon waning and waxing as it made it's endless journey across the sky. No longer did the seasons affect her. The spring bringing no happiness, the summer's warmth falling short; the beautiful fall ignored, and last of all was winter. Ah the majestic snowy white world that she had loved with such passion no longer had the power to make a smile play upon her features. She was truly leaving this world behind...leaving everything that made up her slowly drip out of her blood, drip out of her form and left it evaporate as though it had been nothing more then a parasite that had finally dropped itself free from its host. The very aspects of the tigress was swept away by a powerful gust, leaving only the silent husk of the once majestic being. Slowly, but neverstopping, the old soul was dieing inside. Dieing.....dieing.....forever decaying until soon she would become no more then a forgotten memory that had left no pawprints. No sign that she had lived. Lived for so long......eternity it seemed before she had finally figured out that she was fading....fading and becoming no more. Time could unravel you. Time could make you die a thousand deaths. Time was time and it could never be stopped....unless you were a god of course. Yet she was nothing more a immortal familiar who had finally gave up. Finally stopped fighting the invetiable despair of existing but never aging....never changing but staying in the same form of man and beast, and aging in mind but not form.
Could there be any worse agony? Any worse torture for a soul who had finally gave up the fight? I think not. A soul who did not fight was not a soul at all. What would you do? If you finally begin to realise that you were not the real you anymore? That the person, the beast you had been so long ago was slowly reshaping to become nothing but a carved figure who had forgotten so much....who had aged in mind and learned so many things that a normal beast would never had known. Slowly decaying from the inside out. Ever so slowly it seemed that time ticked by, but she never realised it. Never noticed that time kept on going while she stood still, watching it go by without really noticing. The endless days and years had swept by her eyes and she had never actually seen or glimpsed it. She had stood blind and unaware as the world and what she was slowly cracked ans shattered until she stood, floating in the darkness, staring out of eyes that were no longer her's. Truly, really....if you think long and hard...is there any torture, any pain so great as this? To forget time itself? To forget the meaning of what it was to live? Can you truly imagine this, or are you still blind? Immortality may mean you live forever, but at what cost? The cost of immortality is that you have forgotten your humanity if you ever had it before. You have forgotten, tossed away the true meaning of mortality and just let the world slowly waste away while you never aged and only truly thought of your games and tricks while the world was molded and carved behind your back. Immortality may seem like a forbidden treasure, but the harsh reality of immortality is never as it seems.