My view on writing and how writing helped me.
|Since childhood I was very keen on writing. I still remember maintaining a diary where I used to make two columns and then name one column as "Good Deeds" and other one as "Bad deeds". Every evening I used to sit with my diary on my lap and reflect what good and bad deeds I did. Somehow, my good deeds were always more than my bad deeds. It used to make me feel like saint. I had heard that, Even Angels do 7 bad deeds in a day. So when I could not find more than 3 bad deeds in a day, I used to feel better than an angel. It used to give me immense happiness...
Months went by, I started writing poems. Those were the days when I was going through a bad phase in my life. Everything in this world had started hurting me except my diary. Intense feelings found its outlet through words. Things which I could not say aloud, I started writing in my diary. Those words were neither flowery nor fancy. My writing has always been simple. I did not care about grammar, spelling or tense. For me, writing had become a drug. It was difficult to spend my days without it.
Writing soothed me. Letting out my feelings comforted me.
When I read those words now, I could still feel the sorrow that I was going through. I still giggle looking at those good and bad deeds columns. Words helped me get through the most difficult patch of my life. I am bad with languages. I use a hybrid language which is made up of English, Hindi and Gujrati. Words do not always stand by me. And when told to express my feelings in public, I still couldn't. But when it comes to my diary, I couldnot stop expressing my feelings. I realized that I could express my feeling in writing better than saying.
Wonder if I ever fall in love, I might have to write a love letter instead of confronting him face-to-face.
Writing is for me a kingdom where I could hide all my emotions. A kingdom where I am the princess. Its my era. I have no bounds, no borders to express my feelings... Writing makes me feel rich and happy. It is like a kingdom filled with gold and diamonds and I could pick up anything and wear it. There are no limitations. Its my kingdom, its my world!! :)