The walls we build, and the weight we carry. Why?
I was standing among a pile of bricks that were strewn all around me. I was searching through and then examining closely each one. One by one I looked at them, saving some and throwing out others. Using the good ones I started to create a new building. I was laying the bricks to start my first corner, when a man came up to me and asked “What I was doing?”
I told him my story of how my whole life I built this wall all around me. It became a building that had surrounded me. It was made of ideas, beliefs, and the things that I was taught. They were thoughts learned, like love, hate, fear, kindness, good intentions, lies, teachings, false teachings, etc. All the thoughts, and voices whirling around in my head, made up who I thought I was. It encased me, bound me, and imprisoned me. I felt like I had no direction. I was afraid to even move, so I became stagnant. I couldn't get out, and even if I did I wouldn't know what to do. I realized that my whole life was a lie.
This did not seem to me how life was supposed to be, and so I tore it all down, breaking it all into small pieces, bricks. Now I could build a better life using the best bricks of the knowledge I have. "I see,” said the man, “do you need any help? I'm a professional brick layer.”
I said "I don't think you can help me sort this all out, it's a real mess". Thinking to myself how would he know which ones to save anyhow? As if reading my mind he smiled and said “Believe me son I know a good brick from a bad one when I see one.” So after thinking, I said “Yes, please help me then.”
We started to make the first corner again with his help, and then when we had laid a few more layers he asked me “so where's the next corner going to be.” I said “Well maybe fifty feet or so that way," pointing in a direction. " And where will the next two go" he asked. I then told him " it was going to be about fifty foot square." To which he mentioned "It sounds like your making boundaries again; won't that just encase you all over again, just on a bigger scale?”
“Well maybe then I just make the four corners for now. Leaving it open, to see out, and expand” I said. He replied “It still sounds as if you are still making boundaries to me.” Then I came up with another idea and said “Well then maybe I'll just make three corners, and have a wide open view to a big area.” He said "Well I guess there are two sides to everything, but how would you know if the open area is facing in the right direction to expand though. Besides, (with a little chuckle) couldn't you accomplish this with one side and two corners? But you know however there will still be a barrier, right?”
Getting frustrated I replied “Yes I guess your right about that. I suppose maybe I should give this some more thought. Thank you for your help. I'm going to need to stop for now. I definitely need some more time to think this all through." He said “I'll come back to help you, if you need me.” Then he left.
I'm looking at the first corner we started. I realized that this was not going to work either, because It would still be a boundary, and that I would be bound to this place forever. Frustrated I kicked it, knocking it all back down again. Contemplating, while sitting on my pile of bricks I was trying to figure out what I was going to do next. I saw three bricks in my mind to keep. They were love, awareness, and wisdom. I came up with a thought that I should make these all into one brick, so it would contain all the properties of them, and all the combinations available. So I made my brick.
I was happy. So now I had my brick, I was free to go anywhere. I was not bound to anything anymore. So I traveled to and fro, from here to there. Telling anyone who wanted to know the story about my brick. I was so free in my own mind that one day I thought about how I could even travel the entire universe with my brick.
Tired from travel I stopped to rest, sitting on my brick pondering were I was going to go, or what I was going to do next. Then a man came up to me. He looked familiar to me. Then I remembered him, he was the brick layer from before. He said to me “What's the matter?” “Nothing's the matter” I said. He replied “Well something's the matter.” I was confused and asked “What do you mean?” and was getting frustrated not knowing what he was talking about.
He then said “What are you sitting on?” "Oh, you mean my brick!” I replied. He said “Yes that's the matter I'm talking about.” I told him "it's my brick of love, awareness, and wisdom." I told him stories about my adventure and travels, and how free that I felt with this brick. He said “Why is it matter?” “What?” I said getting frustrated with the line of questioning. He said “Why is it matter, I thought that love, awareness, and wisdom were more of a feeling, a force, or better yet energies. So why is it matter?” “It is all that I have left in my life that I can hold onto” I told him.
He said “But how can it expand, and grow as matter? Have you not taken all that you think you are, your love, awareness, and wisdom, and imprisoned them in a brick? Isn't that where you were when I met you last time?” I said "I never thought of it that way before, and that I thought that I was doing a good thing making this one brick, because it was solid, durable, portable, and it would make me free to be able to travel anywhere." He then said “Didn't it get heavy? I mean carrying it all the time?” I replied “Yes, and that's why I was sitting on it resting."
Then he told me that “You know you can release the matter back into energy, don't you?” “I can?” I said. He said “Yes release it, and let it go.” "But I won't have anything left to hold onto” I declared. He said “You won't need the brick, because once it is energy you can absorb that energy back into yourself. Then it will be able to expand and grow within you. Allowing you to become who you were destined to be, making you whole again. Then you can manifest that energy into any form of matter that your heart desires. Creating the life of your choice.”