Noting repeated character traits.
|Although my character, Jessica, lacks character traits, I found that I repeated a couple things about her. I mentioned she did not like to argue two times in lesson 2. I had her delving into or looking for her tote bag an astonishing seven times in lesson 2 and four times in lesson 3. Even more surprising, a passive verb search in lesson 2 turned up over sixteen incidences and lesson 3 brought to light five more.
Then, I decided to do a word count for repeats. In lesson 2, I used back eight times, kids eight times, tote six times, blanket five times, just five times, and turned five times. In lesson 3, I wrote the word with eight times, little six times, pink five times, around five times, back four times, older four times, and girl four times. It appears I am in love with the word back, used an amazing total of twelve times.
Even more interesting, nearly all the backs and the justs can be completely eliminated with little or no effect on the meaning or structure of the sentence.
As suggested by Ms. Katz, I am revisiting my character interview to endow Jess with some strengths, weaknesses, and positive and negative personality traits. Also, I am working on replacing my passive verbs and verb phrases. Hopefully, this will make Jess more appealing and real, and help embed the reader in my story.