Remembering my first personal "big" purchase as a divorcee. *Published*
|The comfy old couch will be leaving soon, to be replaced with a new one; one that calls to me, as this one had; one that has just the right charm as this one had, and one that will carry me onto my next phase in life as this one had many years ago...
We’ve been through a lot, that old couch and I. It was my first purchase as a divorcee. It was both strange and enlightening, that as a 29 year old woman, I found myself walking through a furniture warehouse store, being compelled to finally giving myself the opportunity to go into each showroom, looking at each piece of furniture, and allowing myself the chance to feel again.
This was a new experience for me. Previously, my opinions didn’t count, didn’t matter. Major purchases such as homes, vehicles, and yes, even furniture had been handled by my then husband and his mother. I had had no voice and for 12 years I had remained a silent by-stander in my own adult life. Good enough to take care of the house and our sons, but nothing more.
Finally, as I went into the last showroom, there it was. A comfy, over-sized to some, but just- right- sized couch to me. It was a burgundy, hunter green, and cream colored plaid covered, couch. Durable enough to stand up to 3 growing boys, who would hear their mother’s wrath if they even tried to rough-house on it! Further, comfy enough to use it as a bed after a long day at work. The “SALE” sign that was on it just added to its charm. This couch and I were truly meant to be!
The showroom salesperson came over and we began to talk purchase price and payment options. After what seemed like an eternity of filling out paperwork, another new experience for me, arrangements were made and two days later the couch made its way to our house.
Each month as payment after payment was sent in to the bank, I felt a sense of pride. I was mak-ing these payments, myself. I was doing it. Not some man who didn’t allow me a say in the matter, but me-myself. As the last payment went in the mail, I felt completed; accomplished, as if I had won a marathon.
During the years the couch has gone through wear and tear right along with the rest of our family; enduring every challenge that we endured, too. At first it was a show piece; “come see the new couch” the boys would say as friends came over. Each visitor had to sit on it to see just how comfy it was. Taken care of like it was a family heirloom held in the highest esteem. Vacuumed, pillows fluffed, and cushions straightened like it was still in the showroom calling out to me. Then over time, it truly became comfy and yes, well-worn, and now almost out- grown.
Currently, Paris our 2-year old Jack Russell-Coon hound mixed dog likes to bury her toys in be-tween the cushions and then stretches out on it, as if to claim the couch as her own. My companion tells me it’s time to replace the old couch. However, this time, when I go into that very same furniture warehouse store, I won’t be alone again. Finally, in this phase of my life it is my thoughts, my opinions, and my voice that will be shared, counted, mattered, and heard too!
*Published in "Ladies Life", Summer 2011, Page 30*