by bob county
Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #1804450
Understanding American Culture
| Muzzy rides his bicycle and rings his bell at pedestrians ..|
"This is a tough assignment on a 3-speed bike." he ponders.
Muzzy slams on his brakes. It's Mitt Romney and he's jogging.
"Mr. Romney!" Muzzy shouts. Romney stops, "Yes?"
Romney's security has a hold of Muzzy. "Ehm(cough). I'm a
reporter for The Blush. May I ask a few questions?" Romney smiles
and waves off his security. "Okay. Muzzy."
"Great! Ehm. You have filed bankruptcy twice.
If you were elected President would you file bankruptcy?"
Muzzy has his note pad out.
Romney takes a along drink of his water.
"I am solvent. But, the country is in need of refinancing and
I will make the necessary cuts to balance the budget,
while keeping revenue taxes down. I want to encourage business
to invest in America."
Muzzy is scribbling and nodding, "Do you wear magical underpants?"
"What?" Romney wipes his face with a towel offered by his security.
"Mormon men are required to wear magical underpants to protect their seed."
Mitt looks at Muzzy, "I wear pure cotton .. Is that okay?"
"Recently, a Mormon Minister was arrested for marring 3 twelve year old
girls. Do you approve of polygamy?" Muzzy puts pen to pad.
"I believe in the separation of church and state. The age of consent varies
from state to state. Mormons are good Christian people." Mitt starts his jog.
"You have divorced three times! Is that acceptable Mormon teaching?!"
Muzzy has hopped on his bike to continue his interview. He is ringing his
bell at pedestrians .
Security pushes Muzzy to the ground.