Formspring's favourite little penguin tries to get some sleep
|Written in May '11
Once upon a time, not so long ago, there was a sweet little penguin called Pingu. She was a tired little penguin who could never manage to fall asleep, no matter how hard she tried, so she decided to ask her friends for help.
Now, her friends came from all over the place, and to reach them little Pingu had a lot of travelling to do, but she was tired and determined.
Now, some of her friends were very nice, and helpful. They did their bestest for their favourite penguin, and found her some sweet soothing music to try to lull her to sleep. It was pretty music, but it just wasn't doing the trick.
"I know," thought the little penguin, "I'll ask my friends on that big island over the water. They are sure to know how to make me sleep!"
So off she swam, through the ocean to the big island, and when she arrived she climbed up the beach and waddled off in search of her friends. It was a long way, and she waddled far. She was already tired from before, and the long swim and tiring waddle was making her very sleepy indeed, but she had to reach her friends now she'd made up her mind. On she waddled...
Eventually she found her friend's place, so she reached up her little flipper, rang the doorbell and waited for an answer. The door opened.
"Hi Cleo! I'm sooooo tiweredd, make me go to sleep!" Begged the little penguin.
"Hey Pingu, you sexy penguin! You should call me Princess Wetness though. That's my name now. But why do you want to sleep? I've just got a great new massive dildo shaped like the Eiffel Tower! We can try it out together if you like! Sleep is for boring people. Phucking is the way forward!"
The little penguin squealed and fled. This wasn't what she wanted at all! She needed sleep, not whoyal treatment. Perhaps Cleo wasn't the right person to get help from after all. But she was so tired she wasn't thinking straight.
"Where is SHE going?" Emma asked from behind Cleo as the little penguin hurried off into the distance.
"She doesn't know what she's missing," Agreed Brooke as she unwrapped the new toy.
But sweet innocent little Pingu heard none of this as she waddled onwards. She went to all of her friends that she could find, but they were all just so horny that all they could think of was having sex with her, or do other equally unhelpful things. It was most upsetting. And she really was sooo tired...
She was determined though, and determined penguins have been known to do some silly things indeed. This might have been one of those silly times, but she didn't care. Back into the water the tired little penguin slipped and off she paddled again. It was a long long way, but she needed to get to sleep and this was the last option she could think of...
The swim was very, very long indeed, but she found other friends along the way who leant her a helping flipper or two. The Fail Whale let her ride on his back for a long long way, which was the best part though. Tired little Pingu stood upon his back and let the sea breeze ruffle through her smooth feathers, pretending she was flying for a bit. It was wonderful, up until the whale crashed into the side of the cruise liner. You should never accept help from the Fail Whale, Pingu decided.
But she was nearly there, so she picked herself up and dove into the cold water one again. The sea woke her up a little more, which was unfortunate considering how much she needed that sleep, but if she fell asleep now the narwhals would probably do some very naughty things to her, and she wasn't having THAT! Cleo would probably like it though... She would have to suggest them to her later, Pingu decided. But no, swimming now...
The shore was closer than she realised, so she kicked with her little feet and waved her flippery arms and rushed towards the land. She had nearly reached the end of her journey! She was nearly at idiotland! Now if only she could find her friend, she knew she'd be able to get to sleep.... She hopped up the beach, she waddled along the pavements, she waited at all the pelican crossings, and she ate a bagel from the local bakery. Then she found the house, and she knocked upon the door (the doorbell didn't work, after all).
"Hey ssssssexxxxxxyyyyyy!" came the greeting as soon as the door opened. The words came out of a face that had a stupidly big grin on it and it started jiggling about as the rest of the body began to bounce excitedly. "Now what can I do for my favourite penguin? I have coffee!"
"Nooooes, I don't wants coffee you idiot! I need to sleeeeeeps!" Cried the tired penguin.
"Oh, ohrighty then... but come in, and I shall tell you a silly tale! Come in, you lovely penguin and I shall tuck you up warmly in bed, too."
The tired little penguin waddled into the idiot's abode and followed him upstairs. He picked her up and put her in bed, fluffed her pillow and gave it to her to rest her tired little head on. He tucked her in and closed the curtains, and pulled up a chair to sit upon.
"So, this story. What would you like it to be about?" the idiot enquired. "Pingu? Sexxyy penguin? Hmm..."
The idiot smiled, and got up. There was no need for him to tell his story after all, for the tired little penguin was fast asleep...