I've lived this chronology, but there are big parts missing that I need to fill in.
I thought I was writing a fiction book, but now it's taken a necessary turn to non-fiction. I have a point to make from my own personal chronology of bipolar espisodes. I just need somewhere to collect and organize what I remember, then get into my medical files to complete the project. How much of 35 years could yoiu remember on an early morning off the top of your head. But, this is why I woke up at 4:15 am and could go back to sleep.
I. When John W broke off our engagement because he was gay? Affected me a lot, but don't know how bipolar effects contributed--Fall 1974 while attending the University of Houston.
2 When John P broke up with me because he had his eye on a cute little freshman with big boobs. Became suicidal. Swallowed an entire bottle of little red pills. This was fall 1976. One of my friend's hugged me, not knowing, and I stsrted crying and most of the pills fell out of my mouth. Went to my psychopharmacology class in a daze the next day, but aI got there--and realized I could have killed myself.
3. Married in August 1978. By November '78 there were conflicts with his mother wanting to run the house like she allways had, leaving me feeling worthless, AND his daughter had been roughed up by her merchant marine step-father, so she came to live with us. This was my second semester employed at a teacher. Over XMAS 10 year old insisted on going outside in her pajamas. Somebody else had yto deal with her. Husbsnd didn't appreciate having to come home from work. Ends up his daughter was bipolar too. Tried to escape Christmas day with an excess of anti depressants. Family situation continued to decline, despite 3 person psych counseling, and kid allergy shots she hated, Ipacked my car and drove off in July. Divorce granted 1979. I was drinking and smoking pot then. Frank didn't know what the hell was wrong with me. Somedays he came home, and I'd be crying. Only kept in touch a little over the years.
4. Post separation was spent in Dallas. Hooked up with a friend through a friend, and ended up shooting speed off and on for eight months. Finally fled back to Houston, living with Mom and then self
5. Participated in depression study. Tqake 1 pill first week, 2 pills second week . . .when they had me taking 7 pills every day of the seventh week, I was brain wasted and dropped out. Houston about 1980.
6. Worked at apartment complex and played darts regularly, and drank wine, and smoked pot. Must've been kind of stable that three years. Plenty of risky behavior through 1983, then changed to middle school teacher.
7. Got viral meningitis and missed maybe 8 weeks of scholl. Could've died. Never found where the germ came from. Still playing darts and drink wine on Thursdays and weekends. Several serious guy friends, but not for marriage. They were mostly drunks.