So my perspectives are from my creative lifes journal... raw and real, left pure for you.
| OCTOBER 12,2011
So much of today bares weight upon my shoulders that my back feels the strain. Who are we as a people today? What are we doing? We are slaughtering morals as a whole and the fabrics of humanity seem to be dying and yet I live. Have we forgotten the richness that comes from lending a hand... I mean a hand in the sense that does not benefit the lender outside of self respect and compassion. Yes many of us live but don't actually live. My circumstances are not easy as it is the same for many, but I respect that and am aware I am to blame for much of it, though do I give up or do I take the baby steps needed to achieve some sort of legacy to leave behind. I don't care that I am poor... it allows me a chance to see the world a way that some may never, and I slow down more gifting me a chance to live.
When money becomes the factor of ones life then what are you living for... not you. Who are we these days... robots... zombies dragging our feet not moaning brains but... moonneeey. We have people fighting over it... paper and dye. Families torn apart by it and lovers not loving because there is not enough paper. Richness is truly defined in the mind... body and soul... success is measured by happiness. Money doesn't do that... hell I see more war amongst people in general over money and those with it.
What if you knew you were going to die tomorrow? What then would money mean? It does not go with you and the truth... if you actually answered that question is you will die tomorrow. I want to go knowing I made the best of my life not my pockets. I want my children to learn to love them not their bank account. What lessons are we leaving for our children? If I die tomorrow and this was my last post my concerns and true life's love starts here...
To my children first I want you all to know that I gained more richness in loving you and being loved back by you... its what gave me strength when others looked down on me... you will always be my heart and one thing I can do after I am gone is leave you with the energy of my soul... to still hold you tight when you cry and to whisper my guidance as you dream. I want you to understand you because that's whats important. Do good by your mind, body and soul because its your temple and no one else. Give often and love more... and know matter the differences you may have amongst each other you resolve it you are my blood so I know each of you is strong. Never doubt yourselves or think you are not good enough because you don't or decide not to live up to standards of others... of society... because remember things change. Look, most things like views change and societies change like laws and wind... it is always different from one generation to the next and you could just be ahead of your time... never doubt something you believe because change starts with one.
Last... Are We Followers? No... My two oldest know that and I can here them now... No dad we are leaders... and what does this mean? It means all eyes are on us so we must be careful of the examples we set and the things we do. Now as you grow you will learn that at times leaders must follow for a spell only to better lead... but never let anyone make decisions for you.. you are your own person... each one of you... never forget that or take that from each other or anyone you come to care for in life. Get together often and love each other deeply as I love you. I have left much in the way of words and believe that when you need me I have left enough answers to help you along... just breath and look for them.
To my family I understand I may have been a burden at times but it was never my intent and I apologize but don't think for a moment it has gone unnoticed or with out appreciation. I understand the American way these days and I should have done better by you... though the compassion and understanding has given me reason to believe we are not fully lost yet in this world. I love you for everything you have done in the times that have been a struggle for me. Who knows where I would be without that understanding... that support when others seemed to have given up on me and I even on myself. Sorry and Thank you.
To my friends it has been fun and some of you are no less family then the blood I share with mine. I love many of you and have learned so much just from our foolish talks and hurtful crys. Some of you remind me why we are so important and that is a lesson money can't buy. I will see everyone when they make it to the next area or heaven... hell... whatever is next and if not I only hope my words will help me live on... moving others to do something different for themselves... for others... for the world.
To those who have been in my life and have made it hard due to money or ignorance you can take it all now... but I bet you are wishing I was here still... and sadly the real richness of me will forever be gone to you... and that's because you lost it in life. Now for two of you... yes you will know who you are... I bet now the only thing you want is for me to be here... just to spend more of life's time with them... those we love and created... because after death we living get to see what was truly important and wish we could have done it different... worrying less about the materials... the money... and more about the connection... the time that we only get for a short while in life with those dearest to us. Don't worry they will always have my time alive or dead because leaving them is something my energy could and will never do.
You see the deepness... the realism... the truth and sincerity when you speak like today is your last... when you think tomorrow is truly gone to you? We are meant to except death each day... respecting it so we may better live in our moments. Still many find a way to block it... give little thought to it unless its in our faces and then... forget... that without giving death its daily respect and understanding we will never really live and things like materials will forever trick us into believing we are living... until that moment when all we have are flash backs of what we did or wished we could have done.
Even though life has been tainted in such negativity I have been gifted beautiful energies like flowers dancing in the wind... letting go there beautiful scents to linger in our mind. I wish the flowers I was gifted last night could be mine... specially the one that is in need of new soil... healthier soil... and flowers like her come to find only what it is they need to just survive... and may never really get to reach their full blossom... their true inner beauty. Its those energies that show me life is so much more and holds such deeper meaning and allow me a moment to slow down... to not worry about the negativity of me or the world around us... because for a spell they unknowingly give strength... give life... and show there true potential even if only for a brief second... but a second can change a
Take a moment I ask to acknowledge death... to treat it as a reality... as a real energy and breath deep as you do.. showing that even if you fear it you are strong enough to except it... to respect it... and then ask yourself what is truly important to me if today were my last. I bet you find things like money and materials are nothing close to the top of your list then... unless its the only friend you got... which I would find hard to believe.... But I am willing to bet you start to feel some compassion for you and those you hold dear... because our loved ones... us... and the people that make up the human race are the true currency of this world. Lets morn for money because our reliance on it needs to be laid to rest as the birth of us begins once again.