I talk my way out of being arrested in a grocery store
| “No, I'm telling you it was that blonde woman over there!” I pointed to the canned goods isle.
“Oh, and I suppose when we go to look you're just going to bolt off, eh?” The grocery store manager chided.
“Whe—why don't you just leave someone here with me if you're so worried?”
“Oh, Yeah, that's actually a pretty good idea. Karl! Over here! Watch this man. And you,” he looked at me“No shennannegans,” I rolled my eyes and nodded at him. He walked off in a huff and fetched the aforementioned blond lady. She was large and unpleasant looking, and she carried a purse in the shape of a takeout box.
“Yeah, that's definitely her blood near the frozen foods, sir,” I said, using my most ambassadorial voice. “Karl'll vouch for me. Won't you, Karl?” I turned my head towards him and nudged him with my elbow.
“Well, this young man does know my name, sir,”
“Very objective, Karl,” The manager quipped.
“For your information,” Karl said impatiently “I did happen to see that woman bleeding in the frozen foods section, yes, I recognize her because of the flower on her blouse—that's a Green Jade flower, is it not?”
“Yes, but that's not my blood, sir!” She insisted.
“Oh, well then whose blood is it?” the manager snarled. The blonde woman made spluttering sounds, but said nothing. “Get OUT of my store this instant!” he yelled. She began weeping and hurried out of the supermarket.
“Thanks for helping us catch that lady,” The manager smiled at me.
“Of course! And apology accepted,” I smiled back. “Oh, and that's not blood, either. It's red drank,”
And I've never seen that woman before in my life.
Word count: 300