At This Very Moment In Time

A free verse poem

It's so difficult
I'm so scared
I don't want to live
in the here and now

I don't know why
I hardly know how
It's been so long
since I've been in the present time

I always think about the past
or I always think about the future
I'll do anything to keep myself
from thinking about right now

I involve myself in idle tasks
keeping myself numb
from any feelings or thoughts
that might try to attack me

But when I stop all things
and focus on right now
it's like looking in the mirror
not knowing who's on the other side

I don't know how I got here
I don't know where I'm going
I get so scared in the here and now
I feel so lost and empty

But soon enough the numbness comes to rescue me