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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/1828608
by Ginger
Rated: E · Monologue · Contest Entry · #1828608
Three things that drive me absolutely crazy!!! Grrrrr! (Contest Entry)

Let's discuss camouflage clothing.

It's ridiculous. Why wear it? Unless you are in a tree stand ( that's a tree house built in the woods for adults) about to blow a deer's head off, there is really no need to wear a camouflage jacket. Or pants. Or a hat. Or even boots! Yes....boots.

The camouflage doesn't even work. When you come into my place of employment in your cammo outfit, guess what? I can still see you. So what is the point of parading around in this get up?

If you really want to camouflage yourself, get some clothes with other stuff on it. Oh I don't know: dog's faces, cars, street lamps, brick walls maybe. Then, when you are out and about, there could be a few seconds where you will all but disappear when in certain surroundings. Like if you wore a brick wall jacket and you stood outside a fire department, maybe you'd startle everyone who saw you and they'd think you were just a head with legs ( no visible body).

Well, you get the idea.

So quit it....whoever is doing it.

And stop covering your BBQ's with covers that have cammo designs on them. I can still see them on your decks. So it isn't working there, either.

Let’s move on to wearing pajamas in public.
Can ANYONE tell me why this is happening? Pajamas are meant to wear to bed, or at the most in the privacy of your home. I do not need to see 45 year old men in Grinch pj’s wandering around in public! If I wasn’t so terrified of what I’d see, I’d be sorely tempted to go up behind one of these fashionably-challenged individuals and just yank ‘em right down to their ankles.

There is one fashion faux pas that beats them all, though.
Without a doubt, the worst ( and by worst I mean ugliest, most pathetic, ridiculous excuse for a piece of clothing ever) item out there is the straw cowboy hat.
Hands down, it makes every person that deems it sensible to put this on their head look like a beer commercial reject. The most beautiful woman (or man) in the world couldn’t pull this hat off. And it seems the more I hate it, the more I see it! And the more I see it, the more fantastic these idiots think they look wearing it!

Shouldn’t our goal be to look as good as we can each day? I’m not saying you have to have a closet full of Chanel or Versace. That wouldn’t be very practical. But at least make an effort. You have to run out to the drug store? Put on a pair of pants! Going to the beach? Try a nice baseball cap or floppy sun hat.

I am going to make it my life’s mission to rid the planet of these offensive items. If aliens are watching us, they are never going to be convinced there is any intelligent life on Earth, based on what people are wearing.

© Copyright 2011 Ginger (rebecca39 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/1828608