|Niche. Niche phantasmagoria. Niche phantasmagoria pies in the sky. I’ve been trying to figure out God’s gift for me ever since the day I was told every soul has a special gift from the one above with the keys to the lightning cabinets. I undertook the effort to identify with myself. My friends can play the guitar, some can sing while some are innately at ease with any kind of games and sporty. Many have been blessed with scholastic endowments. Some are professionally genteel dipsomaniacs, and I mean it in a cool respectable way. I never thought it’d be this hard to unearth my precious gift from heaven. I tried almost everything I thought was cool and had an inclination towards. I have tried gnarly sports against the better judgments of the family and had to hide my dislocated toes, fingers, angle sprains and shoulder burns from them for a while which was when I tried to cook up nice excuses. I tried the guitar, liked it and traveled miles for guitar lessons against my pop’s wishes at frigging 9 in the evening! Dad always had his words and strategy planned out by the time I reached home. Btw I still love playing the guitar, though I suck big time. Albeit not a fulltime alky, I have had my share of duds and snooks under the influence. I cherish the moments obviously, and I’m still creating moments sometimes but which parents, in their right mindset, would give the green signal to their son to get sozzled? I often always fail to concur with society’s says not because I am an anarchic nihilist but it’s just that I too have my voice and I’m time and again very consistent with my coherence. Some friends call me a critic, for which I’m strangely proud of, and hence I usually have a say over things I find worthy enough for a critique, which more often than not is many a time a reason for losing the cordiality with others. Yeah I’m an ass. Couple of weeks ago my friend called me a narcissist; I corrected her saying I am impossible instead. That is how I came to the realization that I am sort of an audacious rebel, an agitprop. That’s right, I said it; thank God, I’m a dissident. So where do I begin with for the justification and make myself clear? Oh yeah, you’re probably thinking this piece is not worth an acknowledgement but I beg to differ…see? So, yes God blessed me with an adventurous insolent mode of thought and say and I’m good at being audacious. Allow me to say a few things about myself and what I do best. I often always never stick to conventions and standards. I see things my way and do it the same way. If the standard is same as mine, nice fluke else too bad, I prefer my way, good or bad and this is exactly how I write. I’m not the kind that simply prostrate in front of an absurd idea. It’s not like it is a wholly new concept, everyone does it to a certain extent but I take it up a notch further. If it is not rational, you do not want to be on the opposite side. Prepare for a critical verbal onslaught. Thanks to our generation gap, many are stick-in-the-mud people and obliviously refuse to adopt a broadminded stance or get adapted themselves and that is often where many of the intellectual clashes happen. But I love to brazen out and heckle with the blind leathernecks because I believe I am also one myself with my eyes "open". I don’t allow myself to be trotted upon by some social con artists or religious charlatans, with all due respect to my faith. I won’t mind raising my hands inside the church for something which I find hard to buy. I’m not game till it’s not tame. I don’t subscribe to the idea of blind faith and loyalty. It is to be overwhelmed by logical judgments. Speaking of blind faith, I am totally for the LGBT cause. An acquaintance, because of his religious beliefs, is against the idea, saying nobody is born a gay or a lesbian. But the comical irony here is that he is a doctor. Sure dude, why not? But nobody is born straight either. It’s not like they were given a list and chose to be gay or lesbian but it’s their hormones in action. I thought a doctor knew better. I was actually about to take your counsel on the matter. God forbid I don’t end up like you. God have mercy on your soul. Nobody has a right to play God. Who are we to take away their rights as human beings? Don’t be so concerned about where the stick goes. Just be humane. I hope I’m still on the tracks. I have a habit of tautologically explaining things, maybe my second best gift. Well I guess that is 99 reasons too many proving that rising up and taking to the streets is my forte. It’s not surprising to say that Emiliano Zapata’s “It is better to die on your feet than to live begging on your knees.” ended up being one of my favorite quotations.