by Sailor M
Why did two Federal Agents shoot each other? Detective Halloran is on the case.
"Here's the situation," Detective Mike Halloran said, addressing the assembled officers. "An FBI agent and a DHS agent killed each other on a city street. Before their agencies charge in and poison the case with attacks on each other, we need to figure out why. Alva, give out the assignments."
Mike's partner Alva Philips rose from his chair. "Listen up people, the CSI's will finish up at the scene. Two teams to the home of each guy; one for the residence itself, the other to question the neighbors."
"Two computer research teams for each guy; one for background checks, one to review their agency assignments," Alva continued. "When reporting in, use FBI and DHS to refer to the two subjects. OK, let's do this!"
Over the next two hours, as teams reported in, Detectives Halloran and Phillips compiled the following list:
1) Both agents were so new that they were acting in very junior capacities on different cases. No help there.
2) The agents grew up in small towns in Indiana, and played football against each other in high school. DHS's team won the state championship in their senior year, defeating FBI's.
3) FBI went to Indiana U., DHS to Michigan, clashing again in football. Michigan dominating over the Hoosiers.
4) Both lived alone in modest, sparsely furnished rental apartments in working class neighborhoods.
5) Their neighbors described both as "normally cold as ice", but that both had hosted parties the previous afternoon that had gotten "screaming and angry" at FBI's, "loud and noisy" at DHS's.
6) Checking the sports results online, Michigan had defeated Indiana in overtime, on a disputed call upholding an interception for a touchdown.
"OK," Detective Halloran concluded, "we'll chalk this one up to another Big Ten fight to the death."