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Rated: 13+ · Assignment · Educational · #1843212
Review of Lsn 2, The Hunting Games by Mr Goodfellow
Review of Lesson 2 Vignette The Hunting Games

General Comments

Not a good balance between exposition and dialog.  Work on that.

Checklist Comments

Have you developed a supporting character and created a Character Profile Sketch and Prose Synopsis?

Yes, Volusia is the supporting character and a sketch is included.

Have you presented a life changing event? 
Yes, Rindar’s decision to take the place of the boy in the “Hunting Games” constitutes a life changing event.  It let to his exile and meeting Volusia. 

How does the CC react and deal with it?
  Rindar faces the decision with honor and does the right thing in accordance with his principles and sense of righteousness.

Is there a vibrancy and urgency to what is happening?
The Games are described both though the eyes of Pelotti and Rindar and contain an element of vibrancy, urgency and excitement.

Do we see the want-need-desire (WND) acting on the life changing event?
Yes.  We see his WND, to be a member of his tribe placed in serious jeopardy and then worse he is exiled for standing on his principles and doing the honorable thing.  Finally he faces the prospect of leaving his new family unprotected.

Do we get a sense of character and some change taking place?
This is an area that can stand some improvement and further development.  The starting snapshot should have focused more on the man he was before the incident and the reader should have been better shown how the suffering had changed him in the wilderness before he encountered Volusia.  When you write the novel this is something you need to better address.

Does the reader gain insight into how the CC thinks and operates?
In Rindar’s decision to step in for the boy he shows his character.  In his talk with Volusia he shows change in his attitude toward her as opposed to his initial feelings.

Does the CC perform to character? 
Yes so far Rindar is performing to expectations in the hero model.

Have you linked your static item for the Character Profile Sketch and Prose Synopsis to your vignette item?

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