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Rated: 18+ · Essay · Other · #1847674
This is a piece about the loss of friends.
I do not know how to deal with the loss of friends.  You would think I would be better at such a thing, being a psychology graduate student and in my thirties.  I have had plenty of loss, having been in the War in the Middle East, the military itself, and just growing up in general.  It never ceases to hurt, though.  The loss always hurts, no matter what the circumstances.  It could be that a good friend all of a sudden thinks that I am ruining their image, or gets freaked out by who I am.  It could be a change in employment that takes them away.  It could be moving on to another institution to continue their education.  It could be a death or an illness that prevents them from interacting with me in a meaningful way.  But it never ceases to hurt so bad I can hardly stand it.  I cry, which I hate to do because I am largely a stoic person and it makes me terribly depressed when it happens.  But when is it goodbye?  I guess it is goodbye when they reject me or die, but in the case of moving on to another place, maybe it isn't.  Maybe it is just a change in our friendship and not a loss.  Like retirement.  That does not necessarily have to end the relationship.  It just changes it.  That does not mean that I will never see or hear from that friend again.  And that does not mean that the friendship has ended - it is not goodbye.  Even when it is goodbye, I do not forget about that person.  I wonder if they forget about me?  Once our paths have crossed and our lives have followed along that path a little way, are we ever forgotten of each other?  Is it ever goodbye?
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