Inviting Death to Dinner

This poem is about how I'm feeling lately although I'm not going into detail about it.

I've invited death to dinner
His presence is making me thinner
But I let him stay here
With or without my inner fear

Because what I want from him
Is something I cannot do myself
What I want is very grim
But it's the way I've always felt

His movements are slow, his actions planned
Playing the role of fate's hand
I watch in admiration; how he works
I'm sure the way he does it wouldn't hurt

Me at all; I just want to be free
Free of thoughts that would make me a sinner
He's finally ready and I can see
It's me that death is having for dinner