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Rated: 13+ · Monologue · Comedy · #1854708
Inez 'double-barrel' Chandler (self-christened) recounts an old favorite.
         Inez Chandler Chandler referred to herself as "big and stout." She was also one of the few people in my life that honestly lacked a filter between her brain and her mouth.

         And one of the best singers of traditional ballads from the boarder country - between Scotland and Northern England - that I have ever had the surreal pleasure of learning from.

         She also told the dirtiest jokes and sang the dirtiest songs that damned near anybody could imagine. Her songs will be available as I can find time (and the nerve) to dig them from their musty secret vault and share them with you kind and gentle folk.

"Wish't I Could Do That..."
         -Inez Chandler Chandler

         I was sittin' on Inez's porch one afternoon, and Inez says to me,

         "I wanna tell you a story."

She said Rube Gosling and Zachary Gunter was settin' out on the porch at the store up in Sodom. The Manus's old cur-dog come up in the yard, right there in front of the store, lifted its leg and went to cleanin' itself, lickin' itself, you know, like an old dog'll do.

And you know, Rube looked at Zachary and said, "I wish't I could do that..."

And Zachary looked at Rube and said, "Why...that dog'd bite you."

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