A funny take on a not so funny operation. Rewritten for a contest.
MY Foley And Me
One night stay, simple and quick,
over before ya know it, just that slick.
Ha! what a crock
I wake up with bowels hard as a rock!
Foley inserted, IV in place,
going home tomorrow, my saving grace.
My sleep's interrupted but goes fairly well;
then nurses file in to put me through Hell.
They rip out the Foley the IV is gone,
send me to pee and leave me alone.
Finally I make it to the white throne.
I sit and I ponder all alone.
But...what is this?
My bladder resists.
Sooo..It's my Foley and me,
though not with glee.
I work and play,
"doing it my way."
"I'll show them a thing or two,
come Monday I'll bid my Foley adieu!"
Alas, Monday comes and Foley has won.
I can barely walk, let alone run,
with the rubbing and pinching
stabbing and wrenching.
In the name of all things Holy,
dear God, I hate this Foley.
By Wednesday it'll be fine.
I'll walk in, and pee on a dime.
Alas, it's not to be,
Dang...I still can't pee.
Doc, says "you've done too much,
working and running with kids and such."
Fate is not on my side;
a week at home to abide.
So...here am I
as days drag by.
I prop up my feet, read and pout.
Tuesday... this darn Foley's out!!
Line count 38