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Rated: 18+ · Fiction · Young Adult · #1873974
In part one of this parody, we meet the main characters before we start their crazy story
Wish Number 1: Good Morning Neko Chan!

         Earth, home to some of the greatest wonders of the universe, has aged to the year 2025 in human years. It has been completely overwhelmed by amazing technology, cars that drive themselves; computers inside sunglasses, just about anything you can imagine barring the usual science fictional toys like laser guns and beam swords. Yes, it is a time of peace and growth in the human realm; unfortunately it will not remain peaceful for long. You see, summer is almost over and one Eric Smith is about to start his first year at a new collage in New York; where there’s as much technology as there is little magic. Well, that’s also about to change quite soon; all due to one simple thing, wishes.

         Eric Smith, a young adult entering his twenty fifth year of life had everything he ever needed thanks to his fathers company. A fancy penthouse apartment close to the school, the most extensive home entertainment system, and about every video game system you could buy. However the nearly six foot tall, slightly fit and white skinned ‘average Joe’ boy was not entertained by these things; for he had nobody to share them with. Every day it was the same old thing, get up, brush his teeth, go to work at the bot factory for most of the day; relax alone after dinner alone and crash for the night. Of course the occasional visit from a study friend
he made during summer school did cheer him up, but otherwise his life was all rinse and repeat with no real excitement in-between. He had his reasons for being alone, and nobody of this earth would understand them; yes, nobody from the human realm would.

         “Gooooood morning New York DJ Johney John here waking you up at Seven AM to let ya know the sun’s a shinin and the groovy music is groovin! Wipe that sand out of your eyes guys and gals cause you all got one week left before that school bell starts ringin again too~ Better study up folks!”

         The standard somewhat fuzzy interruption of Eric’s dreams from the radio next to his bed gave him a reason to moan; school would be starting soon, and he hadn’t studied all his courses for this year nearly enough. Not to mention his studying friend was out of town this week; it only reminded him how alone he was and how weird he seemed to the rest of the world. Eric muttered some undecipherable swears as the bright sunlight pierced the curtains of his bedroom window, a stiff breeze of cold air urged him to moan and pull the covers over to his side of the bed. At least until his alarm went off again thirty minutes later with the same message, he finally gave in and opened his eyes while stretching his arms out.

         “Wonderful, another lame day in my lame life; why can’t anything awesome happen to me for a change? Huh—somethin soft?” Eric’s sarcasm soon turned into confusion as he placed his hand on something besides the covers.

         Eric blinked and held his hand in front of his face, noting the familiar shape of grabbing something lovely; still somewhat unsure if he was dreaming or not, he placed his hand on the same spot and felt it again. Now it was clear, a woman was in bed with him; he pulled the covers off of the girl and his eyes went wide. Not only was she nearly his age, but the woman was actually purring; moreover she had cat ears in place of human ones, a soft looking cat tail was resting around her waist. Of course the most important thing he noticed was that she was stacked like a fucking deck of cards!

        “What in the freakin—what the heck did I eat last night!” Eric’s voice was as shocked as his face looked as he pretty much rocketed off his side of the bed and fell to the floor.

        The girl had blue hair that went down past her shoulders, and Eric was too busy noticing odder features to fully appreciate the rest of her athletic build, as well as the cute full body, black and white pair of pajamas with cat pawprints printed on it; some of the larger pawprints were in rather suggestive places. Concerned for his well, personal status he checked and made note that his simple white t-shirt and his cotton underwear were still on; then let out a sigh of relief when he saw that they were. What Eric couldn’t understand is why he was stupid enough to actually touch a girl’s well, personal parts while she was asleep; and in his bed for that matter. It was bad enough that she was sort of his type, but the cat tail and cat ears made her too damn cute! He would have to ask the girl what the hell she was doing in his house, in his bed later; right now she looked like she was sawing some serious logs.

        So instead of waking her and possibly getting a rude reception, Eric simply shrugged it off and went into the standard bathroom to take a shower. Once he was cleaned up he headed downstairs in his morning clothes, a pair of jeans and the shirt that he slept in and headed to the kitchen to make breakfast. The chrome kitchen was nice enough to make a five star chef squeal like some fangirl; which only made Eric groan every time he entered it. He didn’t mind his father lending him money to buy a house, but really, he didn’t have to go to the trouble of designing it for him too.  A great cook Eric wasn’t, but he did know his way around an omelet; so he prepared the meal and made enough for two in case his guest was hungry. Once it was prepared, which took about fifteen minutes; he set the hot omelets aside and turned the burner off before returning to his room. Eric couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he was just seeing things, she was too beautiful to be real; there was one way to be sure.

      “Well…she is sound asleep…maybe I could…just once more…” Eric gulped a little as he slowly reached toward those heavenly mounds from his side of the bed.

      Why was his heart racing, he’d done it by accident twice; so Eric figured doing so on purpose wouldn’t be much different. With his face a beat red, he swallowed once more as his hand got closer, before he was mere inches away; he noticed a pocket on the girls left breast which looked like it had something in it. Eric cautiously opened the pocket to find an envelope; surprisingly the envelope had his grandfather’s return address on it, but no mailing address. Noting that finding such a thing in the pocket was quite weird, he opened the letter to read it.

Dear Eric, this lovely young lady suddenly fell out of nowhere from the sky and through the roof of my cabin out in the woods! Now I know that ain’t an ordinary thing to be happenin sure, but she seemed perfectly okay when she woke up. She doesn’t talk much English, and she seems awfully interested in having a ‘master’ of some sort. I ain’t got much interest in such things so I sent her to you with this letter and lotsa love. Hehe, knowing you and your habits, I bet she’d get lotsa love from a smooth guy like yourself…be sure to hug her once for me! Oh, by the way; her name’s Lin, and I reckon from experience it’s not a bright idea to let her smell some catnip, haha!


      “With love…your grandpa….well, I guess she’s not from around here—“ Eric stated with a sigh as he finished reading the letter aloud to himself.

      Of course doing so caused the young girl to stir from her sleep and sit up on the bed rather lazily as she rubbed sleep from her eyes. Indeed she was attractive, but something about this D+ chick made Eric think of his mother, who’d died years ago. Maybe it was just his birthmark acting up again, but he felt some odd energy emanating from her, it was captivating.

      “Nyaaaa….morrrninggg….so…borrring~ Huh? Yay you look like the guy that mister gramps told Lin about! You must be Eric San yes, Lin really bets you are~” The strange cat-girl chimed with s chipper tone as she scooted to the side of the bed and sat up.

      Okay, as if this chick wasn’t weird enough, she intentionally spoke to him in the third person; in very bad English. It made Eric wonder if she was just some freak from a madhouse, but that would be a rude thing to assume. So he just shook his head a little and gave her a light smirk, not an actual smile.

      “Um—y—yes my name is Eric, it’s nice to meet you…I guess; so um, what are you exactly? You’re obviously not a normal chick!” Eric’s statement  was as serious as his tone was sarcastic.

        The girl seemed to purr happily, yes, the girl actually purred like a regular cat would; but this Lin woman was not a normal girl. Although she seemed distracted by his appearance, Eric noticed her eyeing his birthmark on his collarbone; obviously she was admiring it. The fact that she almost seemed entranced briefly by the yin-yang marking made him wonder about his safety. He shook that thought out of his head when Lin hummed in thought for a moment before grinning and answering him.

        “Chick? Lin is not a baby chicken, Lin is Lin! And Lin is what in your language is called Genie~ Ne, ne, will mister Eric be Lin’s master…pretty please? Lin will be very good to master and do whatever he wishes!” Lin explained with a smile as she gave him the most adorable puppy dog face.

        What the crap, is she fucking serious; what the heck does she mean by master? Eric thought with his eyes widening in surprise at the girls answer.

          It was true; the word master wasn’t used very often when referring to two people, unless it was a martial arts master or a slave. He wasn’t interested in why she was eyeing his birthmark at all. However the girl did say she would do whatever he wished, now that did sound intriguing! At the very least, he could probably get a few good laughs out of it and maybe even get laid.

          “Uh—okay Lin, I guess I’ll be your master…I got nothin better to do this week anyway.” Eric uttered half-jokingly as he rolled his eyes at the odd woman sitting in front of him.

          When Eric agreed he blinked as soon as he noticed her face lighting up with excitement; he wondered what was going through her head, what she thought a master was and what he thought a master was were probably two entirely different things. Of course his curiosity got the better of him when she pretty much jumped at him to give him a closer look.

          “Master is a bit physically fit, that is good; Simon san might not approve of you though with that tattoo. Nyaaaa….Lin smells something good burning in a skillet, what is it?~” Lin asked with a purr as she circled him in curiosity.

          “Shit, I forgot about the breakfast I prepared! I—uh I’ll be right back, just um…be a good…neko thing and stay here alright?” Eric’s voice was as panicked as he was rushed when he bolted down the stairs as he spoke.

          Eric soon returned with not one, but two steaming hot plates of omelet; one for him and one for his new friend. And because he was really freaking bored, Eric decided to question her about where she was from. Lin did explain a lot about her homeland, how it was some magical planet and how she was sort of a princess; and how there was this tournament that was held every 5,000 years for the throne of her kingdom. Unfortunately she didn’t go into too much detail about the tournament itself; and teasing him by calling it a secret only made him more curious. The one thing Eric knew was that this definitely was not normal, and this woman was not normal; especially for the fact of speaking in the third person. It seemed like his boring, dull, rinse and repeat lifestyle was about to change dramatically, for better or worse he couldn’t tell. Although he did notice his new friend was pretty tired from explaining everything so he suggested that she went back to bed until he arrived home from work.

            “Nyaaa just watch out for Simon san, he might not like you or approve you at all~” Lin cautioned with a yawn and a purr as she hugged her master one more time before heading back under the covers.

            On the way to work, Eric ignored the sounds of the high tech cars driving by him; the occasional sales-bot offering their wears, and the muffled sound of the loud crowd of people walking around him. Yep, on the way to work he pretty much tuned the rest of the world out; it was better that he isolated himself anyway, because he didn’t want any strange things happening unintentionally. About halfway there he stopped at the chrome hotdog stand and ordered a snack, before his thoughts drifted to Lin’s warning about this Simon person. It only made him feel cautious rather than anxious; he was a guy who was pretty much ready for anything. Though Eric thought he was safe from any stalkers, there was but one shadowed figure hounding his every move. Although the figures build was about the same as his, there was no way of knowing who they were, cause frankly Eric didn’t care. Lin had given him a bell to wear around his wrist to call her when needed, although he couldn’t help but think that the trinket was the reason his pursuer was following him.

            “So that is the one her highness chose; he looks as ordinary as the rest of them, a foolish choice on her part. Wait…this one called Eric has a strange smell about him, he is not an average human…” The shadowed figure finally stated quietly as he watched Eric enter the robot factory where he apparently worked.

            Indeed it was true, Eric was not the most normal guy around; but then again, neither Lin nor his pursuer were normal as well. Obviously something had to be done, and there were plenty of questions left about Lin, let alone this Simon that she cautioned Eric about. Whatever the case, Eric didn’t feel like mulling over these ideas any further, after all, he had a job to do.          

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