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Rated: 18+ · Critique · Contest · #1878509
My Judging Results Of WEEKLY QUICKIE Round:22
*Vine1* Reflections Upon Dreams *Vine2*

Judging a contest can be both challenging and complicated.  People who run and judge  contests use rules to try to simplify the variables which can complicate things.  Rules set parameters and then prompts refine the window even moreso, distinguishing (hopefully)  a clear target to aim for.  Round: 22 of our Weekly Quickie charged all contestants with the task of re-inventing the story of Snow White.  To tell a tale that was new while also staying connected to the classic by including a magic mirror, 7 dwarfs, a Queen, a SnowWhite, an obsession with Snow White, unconsciousness, and a hero or heroine to rescue SnowWhite.  A re-invention filtered through the steamy lens of Erotica and artfully executed in 869 words or less. 

I smile inwardly because when I consider how steep an order this was, I also realize how much I personally would like to have entered this round.  To suit the theme, we had seven entrants competing for our first, second, and third-place awards.  Picking the winners was-- like Snow White after she bit the apple-- tight!  I was proud of the work submitted to me for consideration and hope all of you enjoyed the prompt and your creative experiences this week. 


1st Place/ Most Excited: (10,000 GPs) Snow White #1876027  by wvfreespirit

*ThumbsUp* This dives straight at you, pulling you into an urban-themed current plot interlaced strategically placed fairy tale set dressing!  I applaud the apparent ease that you've transposed the fantasy elements of the story we all know with your own narrative.  It has a rawness that is immediately engaging and entertaining and all the while attaining credible suspension of disbelief.  Some may not be thrilled with the word choice but I think you were aiming for a certain texture and achieved it. This was an excellent fusion of my prompt with your own ideas, good work!

*ThumbsDown* I understand the pressures involved in competing on a deadline but with our contest Sunday to Sunday is an equitable time frame to edit 869 words ( or less ) into grammatically correct sentences and paragraphs.  Not only grammar, but uniformity of presentation is an accountable factor; how you space between paragraphs, between lines of dialogue, and between sections of the story.  Consistency of format and a final re-read for punctuation and contextual spelling errors is all this story needed.

2nd Place/ Very Excited: (6,000 GPs)  The Mirror Curse #1877106  by Rhyssa

*ThumbsUp*Despite the placing I was really excited by this entry.  Overflowing with ideas and unique plot points I think that this, under different circumstances, would have been the story to beat.  It kept to all the prompt suggestions while introducing new twists.  It was erotically charged and had the potential to be thermonuclear in its vivid imagery and sensuality.

*ThumbsDown*Upon reading and re-reading the story inconsistencies confused me.  I do not understand what killed Snow White's mother.  I do not understand the origin of the curse or of how it affected Snow White or why it affected Snow White when it did.  I appreciate mystery but in short stories you need informative details that establish your premise.  It seems like you may be suggesting Snow White's savior was proficient in mysticism but again it is a guess, you did not actually explain who or what he was.  How did the candles form a barrier that none could pass?  How did the "last prince" crawl out of the mirror?  How did he go from being behind the mirror to being in the mirror?  When?  Why?  Your "curse" is a critical plot element but without fleshing this out it gets diminished to just another unsupported word.  You did a good job with giving progressive snapshots of the  evolving Snow White, expand that practice to other characters...like the mirror.  Give this some revision  and some patience, I believe it is a 1st Place winner waiting to happen.

TIE  3rd Place/ Somewhat Excited: (3,000 GPs)  Into The Magic Mirror #1876306 by g8tkeeper2

*ThumbsUp* Fairly literal and entertaining interpretation of the prompt.  Sexually vivid, good descriptive points on both the characters and the setting with a good, narrative-advancing use of dialogue.

*ThumbsDown* The twist about it potentially being a dream wasn't explained well enough to let us know how much of a dream this may have been and thus distinguish the characters doing the dreaming and the setting of this story from the fairy tale.  Without a solid distinction about the dreamer and their reality, this story ends up being too close to the original and misses an important prompt point.

TIE  3rd Place/ Somewhat Excited: (3,000 GPs)  Snow White Exposed #1876086  by Fiare

*ThumbsUp* Beautifully written, polished, very vivid imagery and effective dialogue.  Enjoyable erotic fantasy from start to finish and a portfolio piece to be proud of.

*ThumbsDown* Lacked a hard twist or departure from the original fairy tale to mark this as a re-invention of the story.  Absent that I could not rank it higher in much the same way that it was too good to rank lower.

Because of the 3rd Place TIE, I did not do a "4th Place" Honorable Mention.
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