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Rated: 18+ · Monologue · Entertainment · #1885782
My version of Will Ferel doing Pres George W on the West Nile Virus in Dallas, Texas.
Editorial Political Humor. . .

During August of 2012, Dallas has been infiltrated, rather heavily, by mosquitos carrying the West Nile Virus.

Imagine if you will, our former President George W Bush, who now resides in Dallas, Texas, in his home study, pacing with a furrowed brow. Okay, now imagine Will Ferrell doing Gerorge W., as in Saturday Night Live skits, and his HBO special a few years back.

Our scene is set. George commences talkin' . . . .

"People are dying from tinnie weenie mosqito bites, though you need to remember that everything is bigger in Texas. But, it's not because they are Texas sized mosquitoes. It's this virus that a very small percentage of what you would call the general Dallas County mosquito population carry it, and they are biting my voters. Republican voters. Probably even Democrats too. Hell, they got no blood, Democrats. Frail critters.

Looking at a mosquito, you can't tell whether he carries this vile virus or not. It's kind of like going to the mall and trying to find a Texas Democrat. You could look right at one and not know it..

So let's go after all the mosquitos, especially the ones that live in my area of town. We have to go all out to protect our fine Dallas property, and our fine Dallas neighbors' property too, especially if they live close to me and Barbara. This situation is desperate. Killing Republican voters, I know it has already. Bad news. Really Bad news.

A man wants to be able to step outside in the 103 degree heat, sweat buckets, and not worry about dying from a mosquito bite. Damn! This is war. Let's have a bar-be-cue! Some good steer smoke would run those buggers off.

Invite the National Guard, call what's his name, hell, get that Governor Rick Perry on the phone. This is a state of emergency, emergency situation. Damn. I used to be President. How's Chaney doin'? The man can turn any situation around.

Dozen people in the county dead of mosquito bites! It almost sounds like a terrorist conspiracy. Hey. Hey. Get that other guy from DC days on the phone. Phone, hell. Send 'em e-mails. Skype em to me baby."

George realizes he has been talking to himself. It's a Will Ferrell take off, get it? My style of comedy tends to old Dennis Miller, but Will Ferrell as George W cracks me up.

It is true that the first spraying of insecticide by plane to kill mosquitos is centered on the area where George Bush and his Missus reside. I don't live near his house, but I live very near SMU. I live in the same quadrant of Dallas as the former President. And I heard the planes flying over my home at 10:20 tonight. They came back by and made two lower passes a half hour later. The plane sounded like it was going 170 mph at about 400 feet. That's per WFAA news reports on August 16, 2012.

I had my pets inside by the time of the fly over, but what about the birds? No one told the birds.

Public lake fish are on their own luck of the wind too. White Rock Lake had fishes swimming in it today. Tomorrow will tell, or the next day perhaps. The fish were neither consulted nor received any vote, according to a reputable source.

Not registered voters, you say? I will admit that the act of voting is species specific.

The ten 'o clock news reported that the planes took off at !0:00 pm, and that they would be spraying the northwest quadrant for the next five hours.

Personally, I see the need, but I don't support the potentially mortal result for many other species. If they kill the birds, who's going to eat the bugs? It could throw our whole ecosystem out of kilter. I say that as a former middle school science teacher, with an interest in honeybees. A link to my academic article on honeybees is located at the end of this article.

What about the birds and bees in the trees? The Arboreatum had to buy tarps to cover their koi ponds because the outdoor ponds are in an area by the lake which will be sprayed tonight.

I don't wish anyone ill. Some people won't stay inside until 3:00 am, as the news suggests for people and pets. I just heard my dog go out the doggie door. How careful does one need to be? I'm going to go bring my dog back in. I'm going to bring the dog and the cats in, even though I believe the news that this insecticide is safe. I am naive? I am cynical.

God rest the soul of George Carlin. He would get this. It's like military intelligence, or jumbo shrimp--these things just don't go together. An oxymoron

How is a killing insecticide safe? I've heard that on the news all day long. Watch us America. We may have messed up here in Big D. But, rest assured, there won't be any mosquitos buzzin' round President George W Bush's house, or mine by luck, and God's blessings.

I apologize that this stab a humor might be taken as having fun at the expense of actual dead people. That was not my intent. As of Sunday, August 17th, Dallas County has had 242 reported cases of West Nile Virus, Collin County to the north has had 34 reported cases, Forth Worth to the West, covering Tarrant County has had 199 reported cases, and Collin, the county north of Ft Worth has reported 96 reported cases of West Nile Virus. A number of deaths occurred over a short period of time, and Co0unty Juge Clay Jenkins has declared a state of emergency situation for the area.

When we get rain, we don't do a good job of dumping leftover puddles, because with weather so hot and dry, puddles dry up fast. But mosquitos will breed in any standing water. I'm going to scan my yard good again tomorrow. We could do that cheaper, and have a clear green conscience.

And look into importing some mosquito eating birds. Will somebody look into that?

"Save the Texas Prarie Chicken!"

~a sunflower in Texas
 Where Have All the Honeybees Gone?  (E)
California's agriculture depends on honeybees to pollinate, but not enough . . .
#1234322 by a Sunflower in Texas

Almond orchards are productive, and trees bloom as early as February each year.
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