Experiencing a painful heartbreak? Are you wondering what to do to make it all feel better
|>>>>>AUTHOR NOTES AT THE END<<<<<<<
“Breakups are the worst invention in the history of man”
Bitter and Bleeding Love
“I’m breaking up with you”
Ryan said it so casually; it was like I was punched straight in my gut. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t even think right as I stood frozen in front of him. He cocked his head to the side, quietly assessing my reaction and then shook his head exasperatedly like he didn’t like it one bit. What is there to like with a teary-eyed girl with big glasses and frizzy hair?
“See. That’s why I never liked to be in a relationship with a nerd. They gets so clingy after Two months and-
“Three days.” I supplied quietly when he seemed to be counting it on his head. He flashed me his dazzling smile, the one I would love to see every day before today. I clenched my fist and looked away.
“I’m sure you want to have your alone time now and cry your heart out. “ He tucked his hands in his back pockets and took a step back with a smug smile in his face I so badly want to wipe out with my fist.
“Uhm and please don’t forget to give me back the jacket I let you borrow the other day.”
I wanted to glare at him behind my thick big glasses but being the idiot I was, I nodded.
After that I cried for weeks. I didn’t go to class. I was too afraid to get laughed at by his popular friends. I hate to think of the sneers and scoff I would be receiving from the cheerleaders who wants him for themselves. I actually pitied them. Because they don’t know that he was as rotten inside as handsome he looks outside. Appearances could be deceiving. He was just a normal jock with a dazzling smile.
Why did he make me his girlfriend? The answer: simply because he needed someone to help him with his failing grades. I was blinded with the fantasy of a romance existing between two worlds apart. I skipped school that year. My grades drop low and my parents were forced to move me to another school because I was constantly experiencing depressions.
I thought everything would be all right there. I stopped wearing glasses and used contacts instead. I become the hot new girl for a month. There I met Nathan. He was sweet. Like Ryan, he was a popular handsome jock but he was sweeter and more evil. The latter I only found out later when he confessed that he was just using me to get back to his ex-girlfriend and probably get her back which he did.
I cried again. This time my depression got worse. With no friends to comfort me and my parents being constantly away with their job, I carried the pain alone. I asked my parents to transfer to another school again. This time, they send me to live with my Aunt Ester and Uncle William in California. I manage to move on and actually be happy.
I fall in love again and this time, it was the real one. My third boyfriend became Drake Williams. He wasn’t a jock. He was a football player. He was handsome, smart, sweet, and kind. He was everything I could ever ask for a guy.
Today is even our first year anniversary. And guess what?
He broke up with me this lunch and told me he cheated on me with the new girl, Megan Summers. I told him it’s all right; that we could work it out. That I could forget about it and pretend that he didn’t do it because I love him so. I was afraid to crumble again but he didn’t listen to me and he said the words that manage to tear me up to pieces.
“I’m not in love with you anymore.”
Maybe something was definitely wrong with me. That or the fates just hate me so much. I’m crying again and it would probably need three gallons of chocolate chip ice cream but you know what’s different this time? This time I have someone to comfort me. I managed to make some friends. Two nerds just like me: Precy Brook and Elvie Jackson, my first two friends in my whole life.
They offered to stay with me for the night, knowing that I might undergo a depression state again and here we are in my bedroom with two boxes of two used tissues and three more yet to be open, watching Thelma and Louise.
“Are you okay now?” Precy asked me quietly. I looked at her with a sniff. Precy and Elvi never had a boyfriend their whole life, that’s why they really don’t know what it feels like. I should have been irritated with them asking me the same question every five minutes but I wasn’t. I was oddly happy that someone is actually asking me how I feel. I nodded at her and sigh wearily.
“Maybe I..I just need some good night sleep.” I murmured and closed my eyes. It felt so heavy and sore from crying and crying for hours.
“Yes. I think so too. Good night Lacelline.” Elvie hugged me tight and then I heard Precy bidding me a soft good night before sleep finally claimed my weary mind.
I dreamt of Drake, our happy memories together, my first time making love with him and finally to that moment he broke my heart. I woke up in cold sweat, gripping the blanket harshly. I bit my lip to stop the sob from escaping so I wouldn’t woke Elvie and Precy but I just need to let it out. I badly need to cry again so I walked out of the room and down the dark kitchen.
I sniff quietly and took out a glass in the cupboard when I caught a glimpse of something gleaming in the dark. I hesitantly put the glass down in the counter and headed to where it was. I couldn’t really see it clearly and all I could make out of it was something pointed and silver.
I pulled it out from where it was, only to find out that it was a knife. My throat felt suddenly dry and I lick my chapped lips and held the knife up, to where the moonlight shone a silvery light to it. It suddenly looked so beautiful and that’s when I thought;
Why not die? No guy would love me and I would probably be forever stuck with my broken heart.
I took a harsh intake of breathe thinking Yes, why not? I gripped the knife harshly, its sharp tip aimed to my direction. I closed my eyes and prepared myself for the pain and peace to come but it never did. Instead, I felt a warm hand clasping my hand which is gripping the knife and another grasping my waist and pulling me away. I gasp loudly and spun around, instantly losing my balance.
I fell into something that felt so firm and hard. No, not the concrete floor because it felt so warm.
“Goddamn it little girl! What are you thinking killing yourself with a knife?”
My eyes shot open when I heard that unfamiliar baritone voice under me. I gasp again when I found out I was laying above a stranger! He must be some kind of burglar or a murdered because he looked so big. I couldn’t make out his face from the dark though I figured he must be a year older than me. I quickly scrambled up and move away, my eyes scanning the kitchen for another knife. I needed to protect myself. I needed to protect Aunt Ester and Uncle William as well as my friends.
When I finally saw one within reach, I made a leap to get it or I did try to because out of nowhere, the stranger grasped me by the waist again and this time his other hand pinned both my hands above my head and he pushed me to the nearest wall. I tried to fight him off but it was useless. He was so strong.
“Don’t try and fight me little girl. Why do you want to kill yourself?” He asked harshly, his face was too close for my liking that I could smell his intoxicating men cologne and feel his hot breath in my cheek.
“Leave me alone! I want to die! Go somewhere else to steal!” I yelled, not caring if I might anger him more.
He laughed dryly. “I’m not a burglar senorita. Now for saving your life, tell me why you want to kill yourself?” He asked with much force that his hold in my hands hurt a bit. I squirmed under his intent gaze and glared at him. I felt like a bomb threatening to explode any minute and I was right. I did.
“You don’t have any idea how hard it was! How painful it was! I want to die. It will free me from this broken heart! From crying over a guy who doesn’t deserve my heart! From being so weak and pathetic; I want to die!”
“Lace, wake up!”
I felt a sharp sting in my cheek before I could even register what was happening to me. I opened my eyes and look back at Precy and Elvie who were both looking so worried at me. Aunt Ester and Uncle William were in the doorway wearing the same expression. I frown at them. My mind was still a bit hazy from sleep.
“You were thrashing and yelling that you want to die Lace.” Precy sobbed and hugged me so tight, she could have squeezed all the airs out my lungs.
“We were so afraid sweetie. You were having those nightmares again.” Aunt Ester said quietly, her lips trembling a little. I looked away from them and murmured a pained sorry before breaking out from Precy’s hug and running for the bathroom. I shut the door close ignoring Elvie’s call.
I took a deep breath and close my eyes again. The only think that was as clear as day was…
It was just a dream…..
>>> AUTHOR NOTES <<<
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