A young man's early growth in review
Paul Then and Now
There is a whole litany of reasons why once born, we eventually become the people we are today. It goes from Uncle Jack’s hairline; to my father’s nose, to he has Aunt Linda’ eyes.
“ Boy this kid has a temper like my mother.”
“ Look at that smile, that is definitely my dad.”
The list grows on. Month’s turn into years, and one day this child, with all the genetics of two families, becomes the best man whom it is possible for him to become.
When Paul Andrew made his debut into his family, it was an immediate blessing for one and all. It appeared that he had everything going for himself. He was a first -born child and son; and was a first grandchild for both sets of grandparents. Thereby, There were numerous dreams and dreamers expecting a great deal from this little guy from the start.
Paul was a beautiful little boy. He had his dad’s big blue/green eyes and his mom’s lovely tawny coloring and smile. He was a happy child with the ability to amuse himself. He could be heard laughing when alone, and needed none to ignite him. He was truly a content child and a blessing to his family.
Paul’s first home was a beautiful house in the country. His room was a most colorful pallet, with window dressings in red, blue, green and yellow. His furniture, necessities, and clothing were all new. Paul Andrew’s needs were all met at an early age.
Along with his parents, Paul had a committee of people tripping over each other to do things for him. All four of his grandparents were available at his beck and call. One more person who loved him like crazy was his only Aunt Sue, who would give him the moon if it were within her means.
Paul’s world was a happy place. His laughter filled all the rooms in his house. He progressed nicely those early years. His speech came a little slow, and he did not talk until he was three years old.
It was not until the morning after his third birthday that subtle changes were apparent. He became irritable without provocation. . He was demanding, and could get very angry when he did not get his way. Understandably, he was growing older, and these changes were probably normal and expected, but the change was not easy for the family who came to think of him as the perfect kid.
Family members began blaming themselves and each other for the sudden changes. The thoughts were, maybe it was the method of discipline being used on him by his parents. Perhaps, it was his grandparents who overindulged him with gifts and endless attention. Maybe it was the fact that he spent so much time with all of them and not enough quality time at home. Then, when his little brother was born, that became another possibility for his upheaval. All thought maybe he was just jealous of baby Christian. Whatever the cause, whatever the reason, it was clear to his parents that Paul Andrew was getting more difficult with the passage of time.
Paul started school, and eventually began showing the signs of being a bully. When he was on the school bus and in class, he was turning into a very angry little boy.
Paul's parents had him examined by his doctor, with the hope of finding the reason for his unacceptable behavior; It took years, before they could actually put a name to his condition, It was called “Oppositional Defiance Disorder.” His mother kept very concise notes, concerning school suspensions and complaints against him. They were growing more frequent every month, as concerns grew greater.
As Paul grew older, there were visits with several different psychologists. He adjusted for short periods of time and then like clockwork he would go off on a rein of terror for a few days not caring who he hurt with his unkind words and actions. He continually tried to shock people with the things he said and did. He loved getting a reaction from them.
Paul was a very bright child. His grades were good when the subject was something he was interested in. Paul’s biggest problem seemed to be his inability to control his choice making. As a result, he became friends with boys much older than he was, and with more problems than he had, and this too was the result of poor choices.
Paul established a record with the local police with his numerous misdemeanors. Finally, making one bad choice to many when he stole two motorbikes in the middle of a summer night.
Paul’s parents were fearful of the direction he was going in. As a result, they maintained an ongoing communication with the Juvenile division of the police. It was their hope, that they could be short-circuiting his bad behavior before it was too late.
The bike theft along with the misdemeanors Paul committed, left the police and the court with one choice. Paul had to attend a special school for troubled youth for nine months. This was a severe blow to Paul as well as his family. It was everyone’s prayer that he would come back a better person.
Paul made the best of this difficult time spent away from home. While he was there, his behavior was outstanding. He was co-operative, and his grades flourished. The discipline and the structure made a big impression on young Paul at age fourteen. While he was away he had medical and psychological work-ups. He was placed on a medication that aided him in his compulsive behavior and decision-making.
Paul came home to begin his freshmen year in high school. He came with a new outlook on life. He accepts the discipline that is so essential for him to grow in a healthy way. Paul has goals and realizes what is needed to attain them. His family has grown up with him. They too realize what all must do to help this young man become the best he can be. They try to pave the way for him to see his way clear of a dark tunnel that was once his life.
Paul was never a perfect boy and he can still drive his family crazy with some of his antics, but he recognizes when he makes bad choices and tries to correct them before it is too late. He has always had a big heart, and it is more apparent now than ever. He gives love and receives love with abandon. He is a lovable kid, and all are grateful for all that was done right throughout a very difficult time.
His family wants Paul to find his way back from the bad choices. The hope is that he will get all the things he has been missing. They want for him to have the opportunity to find his lost years. All they want now is for this boy to find his way back and get all the things he has been missing for a very long time.