A meeting for a town brings a dragon and a snake to lunch! Contains Vore. Satire work.
| Author’s Note: This series, indeed all my work, pays tribute to the authors and artists that inspired me and to the ones that, quite frankly, I think can’t write a good character OR story worth beans. Hopefully you’ll be able to figure out which is which.
THE VORE CLAN...PART ONE
"This won't take TOO long, will it?" Mr. Jones wondered, his red/brown hair slightly messed up from a bad attempt at combing.
"Honey, quiet, usually we only go to church once a year, and this is SERIOUS. A little time listening to Father Michael won't kill you!" Mrs. Jones said giving him a "I can't BELIEVE you" look.
"My BUTT itches!" Their daughter Jessie complained, scratching the bottom of her yellow dress.
"Why do I hafta wear this dumb thing?" Their SON, Jack, mumbled as he looked down at his black three-piece suit which his mom had insisted he wear along with his father. "JESUS is wearing his bathrobe!" He said, pointing up at the statue of Jesus who was up over the podium, looking benignly content and kind.
The community of Edenbury had gathered for a meeting at the church. Apparently it was an issue of "grave importance". Father Michael adjusted the small microphone on his person and then spoke up.
"As you all know, recently, the town of Daleburg..." He tilted his head to the side, nervously. "Failed to provide contact with any authorities after a strange meteor shower occurred and one such meteor struck the town. And the day BEFORE another meteor shower happened and the town of Bayton Heights lost contact. Now since our Town Hall was wrecked by a meteor just a few short hours ago, the mayor asked all of us to come HERE. Mayor Blumm?"
Mayor Blumm had just wanted a big house and some respect. NOW he had to worry about meteors crushing his constituents! He adjusted his tie, then stepped forward towards the podium as Father Michael stepped away. "As mayor..." He began. "It is my utmost duty to keep an intense watch on my constituents. Now I'm aware only a fifth of you could make it on such short notice, but this is important-"
The door to the church opened and a smug-looking being walked in, along with another who stood slightly behind him...both unmistakably NOT from this world. The first was an ENORMOUS dragon, barely able to fit inside the front hall of the church. A crest of spikes atop his head ran down to his tail, and he had his wings folded to his sides. His red eyes glinted as he licked his lips, looking over the people of the church. He also appeared to be completely naked, complete with throbbing member that hung cannon-like underneath his body.
Naturally those who had brought children covered their kid's faces and went "DON'T LOOK". Thank GOD for caring mothers!
The other being, mercifully, was clothed. A large, white robed jacket with pants to match, a pair of sandals on his feet...green, scaly skin and gleaming golden eyes. He brushed his blue hair back with a three-digited clawed hand and his thick locks fell back slightly as he looked over the people in the church...what WAS he?
Then he spoke and they knew instantly. "Humans." He said. "There must be at least 500 of them in here...not a bad church! These are bigger than the ones back in my town!"
That hissing tone he had...and the long tail that unfurled from his back and forked tongue that had momentarily tasted the air gave him away as a snake of some kind.
"FOCUS, King." The dragon snapped.
"Yes, yes, of course, Ivadus." King mumbled, folding his arms. "I'll just do the speil now. People of Earth..." He waved his hand dismissively in the air. "We of the Vore Clan come from a planet afar to lord over your kind because we're greedy bastards and please don't start crying!"
"Uh, WHAT?" The mayor asked.
"Okay, Reader's Digest version: Our planet's in civil war so we headed out to find new ones to live on and to ensure our kind prosper we have to take a "draconian"..." He jabbed his head at Ivadus, the large dragon. "Approach to the natives, which means usually using them for slaves, for sex, or your town's case, for supper."
"Oh, I WILL enjoy this." Ivadus said, licking his lips as he got on his haunches and smirked. "Trick or TREAT!"
King calmly turned around and locked the church doors, then raised his hands into the air, chanting as the windows all simultaneously closed. He then waited, trying not to squrim as he watched Ivadus go to town on the people in the church, specifically the women. He eagerly stuffed them into his gaping maw like popcorn, gulping them down.
"AAAAAA!" One of the women managed to run by the dragon, heading for the door. Hymn book grasped in hand, she held it like a baton, hoping to beat the snake out of the way...
SNATCH! The dragon's long tail grabbed her. Before she could do anything but scream, she was tossed into the air and fell down into his waiting, slippery gullet and swallowed. GULP.
Mr. Jones, who had just lost his daughter AND his wife, rushed at the snake guarding the front door along with a dozen other men who WEREN'T trying to fight the dragon. "You monster, we'll bash your-"
"FREEZE." King snapped, snapping his claws. The men were rooted to the ground as ice formed on their shoes, keeping them in place. "Luckily for YOU, Ivadus only likes women, so you'll get to live for a few more minutes. Then I'M supposed to kill you and leave your bodies hanging outside of your neighbors houses as a reminder on how they should attend church services..." He smirked. "OR ELSE."
The buffet continued for the dragon as he enjoyed himself, snatching them up within his claws and tossed them down his mighty jaws. His belly bulged bigger and bigger, filled with squirming shapes that pressed their fists and hands against the stomach walls within as his digestive juices got to work on paralzying their bodies before he slowly and painfully digested them.
He finished with a particularily tasty morsel: a young woman who had been hiding in confessional. "BAD GIRL." He hissed, opening his maw and sticking out his tongue, snatching her up. She struggled uselessly as he drew her into his maw, then clamped his jaws shut. Smiling, he proceeded to taste every ounce of her body, tossing her up and down, exploring every orifice whether she wanted him to or not, then swallowed at last, forcing her down his slimy throat to be deposited in the ENORMOUS mass of people who lay squished together, covered in slimy digestive juices, still not paralyzed, their horrid, final fate yet to come.
He let out a low groan as he patted his stomach, which was now swelled to the size of a WEATHER BALLOON. He patted it with one set of claws happily as he stroked his member, getting arousal from so many juicy prey in his belly. King calmly held up a golden cup...the one used for communion, and was drinking some of the wine. He then noticed that there were some CRACKERS on a plate nearby...
PERFECT! He walked over to Ivadus and held up the plate. "Here, have a wafer!"
"Oh no, I couldn't, I'm stuffed!" Ivadus insisted, holding up his claws as he groaned. The people inside were STILL not paralyzed, well, not ALL of them. Most were still groaning and screaming and swearing quite vividly and OH if little Jackie could hear his mommy NOW!
"Oh, it's only a wafer-thin-wafer!" King asked, his eyes glittering almost seductively. He grinned in a good-natured-fashion and held the plate full of wafers back up.
"Just one...wafer...thin...wafer." King said gently, nodding his head.
"...alright." Ivadus said, snatching one up and tasting it before swallowing it down. "...hmm, kinda DRY. This would go great with some of that wi-AY-AY-AY-AAAAYYYYEEEEEEEE!!!" He began to scream as his body surged BIGGER and BIGGER, growing to ENORMOUS proportions! King quickly ran back over to the humans and held his hands up, erecting a shield spell and frowned as Ivadus's body BULGED out from all places, first the stomach, then the legs, then the arms, then his chest and then his neck...
"Brace yourselves, humans." King remarked.
Then his head and THEN-
An explosion of dragon organs, guts and blood went sailing everywhere. The digestive juices of his body, the semen that had been building in his member and the the blood all sloshed together to form a greyish liquid that had a faint tint of BLUE to it. The women who'd been unfortunate enough to be IN the stomach all lay together, groaning in pain as those that could stood up and helped those that COULDN'T to pews that weren't TOO badly coated with stringy intestines and muscles.
"Hmm...at that town Daleburg I took care of Carnior, at that nice "Bayton Heights" I dealt with Uluto. And now Ivadus is finished." King clasped his hands together and rubbed them. "Not a bad week's work, three towns and three annoyingly chauvinistic dragons in three days!"
Father Michael, who was closest to King, blinked and rubbed his eyes. "Wait...did you...PLAN this?!"
"Yes!" King said, smiling. "I did. You see, it's true I'm of the Vore Clan. My planet's filled with people that prey upon each other all the time, a multitude of canons clashing together."
"Isn't eating a sentient being MURDER?" Father Michael said, frowning angrily at him. "And from what you said before, I am inclined to believe that YOU believe in God's work..."
"On OUR planet, it's impossible to die due to the "Lazarus Effect"." King said. "Whenever somebody DOES die, they get reincarnated or reborn shortly after they die. Unless, of course, it's old age or disease! But otherwise people don't ever stay dead, so there's no real problem with eating each other..." He said, patting Father Michael on the shoulder as the ice faded from the men's shoes. "But here on your planet it WOULD be murder, because you have no "Lazarus Effect"."
"So then why are YOU here if not to enslave us or whatnot?" Father Michael inquired.
"I'm stalling." King said, smirking. "I get rid of the more nastier Vore Clan members while my fellow sympathizers erect a "Lazarus Effect" through magic in different waypoints across the world. Our world was engulfed with civil war so we had to find other planets, but since many of us are used to being able to eat living, thinking creatures without consequence, they've become VERY selfish. Therefore they don't care how much suffering another planet goes through as long as they are FILLED somehow."
"Which is where people like US come in." A voice said. The people in the church turned their head as the doors of the church opened and a grey-furred being stood there, smiling warmly at them. "We Vore Clan members are a dedicated Covenant who have sworn to erect a Lazarus Effect and to eradicate the cruelest members of the Vore Clan...to keep them from devouring innocents and to ensure your planet's survival in this trying time. We're doing the same for other planets all across the galaxy and this planet is next in line."
"But we'll need help from the locals." King insisted, extending his hand. "We need to spread our forces out and have people be made aware of who and WHAT to watch out for. We need bases of operations...people we can TRUST. Can we of the Vore Covenant trust you?"
Father Michael nodded. "I am in touch with many other priests, and we meet in my parish every other month. I'll do all I can!"
"And the town of Edenbury will contribute to your cause if it will save our world." Mayor Blumm insisted, nodding his head.
"The internet's never looked more helpful!" Jack Jones laughed.
"Then let's get started!" King said, clasping his hands together and rubbing them.
"Yes, there's a lot of work to do." The other form laughed. "We are giving you the gift of live everlasting, I suppose. Now..." He held his gumdrop-shaped nose and plugged it. "If ONLY I could give you the gift of roll-on deodorant!"
Mayor Blumm turned red in the face. "Uh...um...let's...uh...let's all go home and...take showers..."
"Maybe NEXT TIME, you'll remember to chew your food!" Jessie Jones snickered, kicking the skull of the dragon through the air.