Smiling -A simple gesture to grace one's scowling heart.
| Smiling - A simple gesture to grace one's scowling heart.But, I sometimes wonder if this act of awarding (it is some sort of award, isn't it considering how nice and happy it makes us feel) is authentic or fabricated, does it interpret what is truly felt in one's heart? The pride, bliss and love?.
On the contrary, I personally smile for far different reasons.
-An expression of sympathy when words are unjustifiable for the depth of loss. A method of expressing hesitation to answer certain questions such as ,"Have you finished the reports on the previous field work?" or heart wilting ones similar to "Ben! Did you fail your driver's test again?" Oh, it's true, it's true, I am not a man fit for such hazardous activity! I am humbly satisfied not owning a convertible, I enjoy simple moments such as early morning train rides, or wandering lost in a town name not known of.
Reminiscing memories.It's the little things which make you smile you know,those which goes unnoticed, but leaves a memorable imprint for the rest of your life. Do you remember that breakfast you mother makes for you in the morning before school? The one which you liked so much, you always had her making a few times in a week . Do you remember how the house used looked like?The morning cartoons you waited for? Your mother holding you close preparing you for school? I wish I could. I really do.
Comforting one's loneliness. I smile to console myself at the facts of crude reality.The life I live,my struggles to understand the war Erde declared on humans, as well as personal conflicts we face as H.ex's. For this unascertained battle,we lose everything for them, even our lives, for these humans whom have no knowledge of our existence.Why?. Why do I still protect them? The answer remains the same. Because they are the prooofwe once existed. We were once humans just like them. They may not remember us. But we do.
At the end of the day, although our reasons are varied, it may be for good or for the worst, we just want to shield us from all this madness that surrounds. We are fragile no matter how strong we tend to project ourselves to the world, it's admirable to present a good first impression, but are we capable to bear consistency in our own formulated personification?
I know I could, I have been doing it for a very long time now, It's alright for me to smile, hiding my pain, because watching them smile, cleanses my wounded soul. I feel needed you see.If I ever lose this, the capability to smile. I would wither, I would die, I would be forgotten.