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Rated: 13+ · Script/Play · Comedy · #1933838
Based on a true fact. Or so I've heard.
int. village inn- night

1897- Cambridge, England

Local villagers sit around a typical inn setting, drinking lager and murmuring to each other. The bartender is drying glasses, it's a pretty mellow scene.

Alaister Crowley enters. He is wearing all black and a long black cloak with a hood. It's obvious he's taking great care not to make any sound as he enters the inn.


(speaking to the barmaid as she drops off dirty mugs freshly bussed from a table)

Oh Christ, 'ere he comes. Remember, just pretend you don't see him. E'll go away soon enough, he will.


Right creepy, he is. I feel like we're encouraging him by playing along!


Sssh! Just act natural...

The other patrons in the inn are making eye contact and snickering with each other quietly, but pretending they don't see Crowley.

Camera pans to a modern day man dressed in a suit and a tie. he is standing to the side of the scene, and narrates as if he is part of the scene but invisible to the patrons.


Aleister Crowley. The name invokes mystery, fear, sometimes admiration from those who know of his works and legacy. What you may not know, however, is that Crowley was not always regarded so seriously for his talents in the occult. During his early dabblings into black magic, Crowley thought -erroneously- that he had found a way to successfully turn an ordinary cloak in his possession into a cloak of invisibility.

During narration, Crowley can be seen milling amongst the patrons of the inn. It becomes obvious that he thinks he is invisible, and the patrons are playing along. Cut to various scenes that illustrate this where:

1) he messes with someone's hat, they swat at it as if it's just a breeze;

2) he goes to take someone's coins off a table but the person moves them to his pocket "just in time";

3) he takes someone's mug and drinks it when they're "not looking" only for them to appear shocked when they notice it's empty.

All the while, he is snickering to himself and reacting to the patrons' actions.

camera pans out and frames the entire scene again.

The barmaid is leaning across a table clearing mugs, clutter. Her bodice is low cut and she has ample cleavage. Crowley can be seen gawking at it from the side. He moves closer to her and sidles up behind and to the side of her. He begins to attempt to put his hand on her breast from behind, of course she can see this so she suddenly stomps on his toe. He is in agony and attempts to stifle his scream by biting his knuckles.


Awww, look 'ere! Me foot's fallen asleep...

She continues to stomp on the ground pretending to wake her sleeping foot.

Crowley looks pissed, so he takes a small black bag from underneath his cloak and recites a nonsensical sounding spell.



Crowley throws down a white powder on the floor at the barmaids feet. He hisses at her and then flees the bar still trying to do so silently. As soon as he's gone, the inn erupts into laughter. The maid is left standing with white dust on her boots, looking annoyed.


Well, he put another hex on me then, din't he? Filthy buggar!

Camera pans out to a broader view of the scene to include the narrator.


Join us here next time for more Hidden History Files.

The narrator can be seen sitting at the bar with a mug, the barmaid is walking back to the bar with her tub of mugs. The bartender is laughing and gives her a friendly squeeze as she puts her stuff down. Everyone is going about their business.


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