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Rated: 13+ · Essay · Comedy · #1943984
Things that my dog's would say if they could talk.
Things My Dogs Say:

"I'm happy to see you but I would be more happy if you fed me."
"Ignore that other dog, you know I'm the cute one!"
"I wanna play fetch, but I don't want to give you my ball!"
"Why don't you do something about my flea problem?"
"I think I'll go wee on the carpet, it's raining outside."
"Someday I'm gonna eat that cat."
"You call this a treat?"
"OK, I'll gladly go for a car ride, just stay away from the Doggy Dr."
"If you didn't want for your slippers to get chewed up you should put them away!"
"What's that noise? BARK BARK BARK!"
" Waiter, I'll be having the grilled squirrel tonight."
"I thought we were going to the dog park, not the groomer's!"
"Oh boy, it's the pizza delivery guy!"
"Sniff sniff, PEW!"
"OK, If I don't get some attention around here I'm gonna bite the cat's tail!"
"Forget this rawhide chew, I want that steak!"
"I hate Christmas cause I always get a new itchy dog sweater."
"OH NO, they bought the kids a KITTEN!" 
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