Things on the movie set of a haunted castle aren't as they seem, 8/2, 994 words.
|“This is bullshit,” Kevin spat into his cellphone.
“Look, Kevin, baby, we need to keep your relevant. That means being in movies. I know this isn’t your cup of tea…”
“I didn’t hire you to be the star of some shitty B-horror movie on a run-down haunted castle set. When was the last time this place was used, the 1950s?”
“Do you want me to check when it was last used?”
Kevin sighed. “No, just … shit, I don’t know. I’ll do this, I’m already fucking out here, but no more B-movies.”
“What about movies with a talking dog?”
“Just trying to loosen you up, Kevin. It’s two weeks of work, and it’s a fat paycheck for a B-movie. So, just be a pro, and I’ll get you a better gig down the road.”
Be a pro? Kevin thought as he hung up the phone. He was in the castle now, the set being big enough to accommodate the stars’ dressing rooms. There was no reason, and no room in the budget, to tack on trailers. Being in no film that grossed over ten million in the last two years put him in this situation. He could take time off; it wasn’t a money issue. But, his agent was right. Even if it was a shitty B-horror movie that wouldn’t open in fifty theaters, he needed to keep working to hold on to what little relevance he had.
A hesitant knock at his door interrupted his thoughts. He opened the door to find his leading lady, a busty redhead whose name he hadn’t grabbed yet. She barged into his dressing room, without waiting for an invitation.
“Feel free,” Kevin said, his words dripping with sarcastic warmth.
Her eyes darted around the dim room as she paced.
“Are you looking for something?”
She stopped after more seconds of searching, Kevin’s words finally registering with her.
“Are you alone in here?”
“Yes,” Kevin said. “Or rather, I was before you came in.”
“Are you sure you’re alone?”
“You know, it’s bad enough working on this piece of shit, but now I have to be surrounded by lunatics.”
“It seems different in here.” She closed her eyes and began to hum.
His frustration overflowing, he grabbed his leading lady and shook her to stop her humming.
“Will you please make some fucking sense or leave me in fucking peace?”
She knocked his hands off her. “I don’t mean to startle your closed mind, but I had to get a sense of what was going on here. There is a different aura, but I can’t determine whether it is good or evil.”
“The…aura? Of the room?”
She let out a heavy sigh. “You’re not spiritual, are you?”
Kevin shook his head. Despite many years in Hollywood, he had stayed away from the fads dealing with the supernatural and the beyond.
“This is a haunted castle.”
“Okay, sweetheart, let me stop you there. This isn’t even a real castle, it’s a cheap set that I don’t think has been used since the days of the stagecoach.”
“Doesn’t matter. There are still evil spirits here.”
She lowered her voice to a whisper, “The director is possessed.”
“I don’t believe you,” he whispered back.
She pulled out a long dagger with a jewel encrusted helm.
“What the fuck?” Kevin hissed.
“Your lack of belief doesn’t matter. We must go now, and kill the Director. We must free this castle off its evil curse.”
She charged past him, into the hallway. Going on instinct, he chased after her. He hadn’t even bothered to meet the Director yet, and now he was going to have to save him from this busty redhead who they obviously hadn’t checked if she was mentally ill or not.
He caught up to her just as she was entering the Director’s office, causing both of them to stumble into the room. The dagger slipped out of her hand as Kevin rose to his feet.
“What is the meaning of this?” the Director asked, from behind his makeshift desk. He sat calmly in the shadows awaiting an explanation.
“Um, long story, but my leading lady here has lost her senses, and she thought you were possessed by an evil spirit from this haunted castle.”
“This isn’t a real castle.”
“Yes, I know that. Remember that was me stopping her from stabbing you in the chest.”
His eyes went to the dagger that lied on the floor.
“No!” the Director roared. “How did she possibly get her hands on that dagger? The only weapon that can defeat me! You will both meet your doom!”
The Director snarled, and his facial features began to change. His eyes glowed a bright unnatural green. Stepping into the light, Kevin saw the Director’s skin was hideously scarred and looked to be falling off his face in clumps.
“Do you see now?” she asked from the floor. “You have to finish him.”
“I will feast on your bones!”
Kevin picked up the dagger, freezing the Director.
“The Hell with this!” Kevin said and hurled the dagger at the Director. He headed for the office door, away from the Director, as the leading lady regained her strength and tackled him keeping him in the room.
“And cut!” Kevin heard someone yell from the shadows.
“What a twat,” the leading lady mumbled to herself.
“What the Hell is going on?”
“Well, Kevin,” said the man emerging from the shadows. “I am the true Director. You threw a prop dagger at my assistant, who was, I guess, in some convincing make-up. I needed to test your mettle, see what kind of hero quality you possessed to be in my movie.”
“And?” Kevin asked hopefully, rising to his feet.
“And, we won’t be needing your services. I’ll pay for your return to Hollywood, and I hope your agent can provide me with someone better. Even for a … what did you call it, a shitty B-horror movie.”