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Rated: 13+ · Article · Men's · #1946237
My thoughts on understanding how women think.
You probably happened upon this thinking someone was going to share some great words of wisdom with you about how to understand how women think. Lol...yeah right...good luck finding that! Truth is there is no such thing, but I will share a little about what I have learned during my experiences of trying to figure out how women think.

This by no means is to be taken as anything concrete and remember as with all things concerning women the rules are subject to change at any time and without warning. Even if someone were to figure out how women think, just as you think you had it all figured out, they would change the rules on you anyway, so just be content with these small little nuggets I have for you.

When women speak, do not take them at their word. One of the first things you need to understand is that women never mean what they say and in fact in most cases they mean exactly the opposite of what they say. The second thing you need to understand is that you do not understand and you never will. Do not try to use logic to understand why just know that this is so and be prepared for it.

FINE- If you are having a discussion with your woman and after much disagreement, she ends the conversation with 'fine' trust me everything is not fine and don't think you have made some kind of progress in making your point because you haven't. What you have done is made sure that most likely there will be no more conversation at all...as well as ruined any chance that you were going to get laid tonight...it ain't happening now. In fact, sex may not be in your immediate future at all until you realize that everything is not 'fine.'

WHATEVER- Whatever is the follow up to fine. This is how she will most likely end her conversation with you after you have passed the 'fine' base and rounding 'whatever' and heading for 'nothing.' Think of this as 'screw you.'

NOTHING- Nothing (Fines ugly cousin) but applied in a different manner. This usually applies when you notice that your woman has been somewhat quiet and appears to have something on her mind. You, being the logical creature that you are, ask her what is wrong. She replies with 'nothing' but then does not say anything more.

Here is what you need to understand:

A. First, 'something' most definitely is wrong.

B. You are most likely the blame for this 'something.'

C. She is more pissed off that you are not aware of what it is that she is mad about than what you probably actually did (if anything at all) and if you don't know what it is, she is not going to tell you.

Once you come to understand A, B, and C you will quickly try and remember what it was, you said or did to get you where you are at right now. You will scan your mind playing back everything that happened during the day trying to remember what is was that you said or did.

Hint: it may not be what you said or did, but instead what you did not say or do.

One thing you will not consider is that it may not have been something you did or did not do or say today, but rather something you did or did not say or do, last week, last month or even last year. So while you hopelessly playback in your mind all the events of the day (the glance at that hot looking woman in the mall that you thought she did not notice; not remembering her mothers birthday; checking the score of the football game during lunch) what you have failed to realize is you are not even thinking about the right day.

After many repeated guesses about what it is she is upset over, you will most likely earn the Trifecta for the evening...'fine'...'whatever' and 'nothing.'

The same rules apply to "nothing' as do with 'fine' and 'whatever'...in other words forget about sex in your immediate future.

GO AHEAD- Honey will you be mad if I don't go with you to your mothers tomorrow and instead go to the football game with my friends? "go ahead' I don't care. This needs to be looked at as a dare, not permission. In no way does this mean she will be okay with you going to the game with your friends, but she does not want to come off looking like a nagging wife to your friends, so she tells you to 'go ahead.'

You are now walking on very thin ice. Your next move could land you on the couch for the next month. The smart thing to do is to say, 'honey, now that I think about it, I would rather spend the day with you instead of my friends.'

There is no guarantee that this will work, as it may be too late in which case 'whatever' may be in your future followed by 'nothing,' and you guessed it...no sex for you.

THAT'S OKAY- 'That's okay' honey you go ahead and go with your friends. Now you are in the big leagues. You have screwed up so bad that she is planning on just how she can get even with you while you are sleeping. I suggest sleeping with one eye open for the next few nights.

Needless to say, you hit the Quinella my friend, all the rules for all previous terms apply and you will be celibate for some time to come.

In Conclusion

I realize you are probably more confused now than before, join the club. Don't try to apply logic and reason to anything involving how women think because there is none. Women think emotionally, and men think rationally. It's genetics, and there is nothing you can do about it other than try to be aware of this so you can spot these five deadly terms if they come up in your next discussion.

Good luck!
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