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Rated: 13+ · Monologue · Satire · #1949661
Satire mixed with suspense. Two people on a singles site meet for the first time.
Opposites Attract

Hello, are you Maxine?
So very nice to finally meet you!
I love Mexican food.... How about that booth over there.
Here, let me help you with your coat.

I can't seem to recall when we started email chatting on "next victim.com"
Three months, you say....wow, how the time has escaped.
Well I think that you look lovely, even though your bio photo made you look 20 years younger.
Oh.... the photo was taken thirty years ago....my, that's amazing!  How do you stay so young looking.

It's so interesting how very different we are, but as they say, "opposites attract".
I have such an aggressive personality compared to your shy and reserved demeanor.
Here, are some pictures of my children....all grown up now....OOPS,
I thought I had removed this picture of my ex wife!  I accidentally cut myself on the edge and now it's forever stained.

Yes, I am a widower....no, I don't mind...she died in a horrible car crash last winter.
It seems that her brakes went out just as she was heading near Cemetery Cliff Curve on route 9.
The officials had a hard time identifying her burned body after finding the car three days later.
From what they could tell, it seemed that there was a tiny pin hole in the brake line which caused the malfunction.

Of course I was devastated!  My only consolation was that I had taken out a two million dollar life insurance policy on her which
has helped allot with the grieving process.
That's OK...I didn't mind that you were shy about asking how she died.
You look a little pale Maxine....what, you're feeling a little nauseated?  Here....I have a ginger lozenge for that.  It's chewable.

OK.... we can cancel dinner for another time.  I don't think you should drive...no, no, no,  I insist on driving you home!
Here, let me help you with your coat.... what... you feel as if you have been drugged?  It's probably from that margarita you had with no food.
BRRR it's freezing out here....I'll have the car warmed up in no time.

I know this isn't the way to your house... I'm taking you to my place to rest until I know you're feeling better.
No, it's no imposition at all!  I'm happy to take care of you!
Maxine....Maxine....MAXINE!    Oh my, you've passed out!  (silently thinking),  You know you should have never lied about your age....
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