Rime of the Floating Voter

A satirical parody of the Rime of the ancient Mariner, aimed at a British audience

“The curse of the floating voter

It is a floating voter,
he stoppeth with one of three
by thy yellowing badge, with lame duck flying,
Why should’st I cast for thee?

The voting booths are open wide
And I am the next man in
The candidates spout their scripted spin,
I’ve heard their vacuous promises again.

He holds him with his skinny hand,
‘There once was a Party,’
‘Unhand me, deluded yellow man’
Election promises he mumbles on.

He holds him by his rosette so false,
The voter stood still
And listens to the one term wonder
Lib Dem writes his will.

Voters, voters everywhere.
Yet my ratings they did shrink
Voters, voters everywhere
My promises how they stink

‘Is it he?’ asked one ‘who bid me mark my cross,’
‘That falsely gave him the easy life,’
Cast aside working man and wife,
To become the Lib Dems albatross

With apologies to Samuel Taylor Coleridge but none to 'Little' Nicky Clegg”