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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1954239-Cheap-Entertainment
Rated: 13+ · Script/Play · Satire · #1954239
An executive has an interesting dinner out.
Cheap Entertainment  (Lunch at a diner)

"Yes, I'm ready.  I'll have the pot roast with steamed vegetables, pasta and a coke please."

(A lonely executive begins thinking about his surroundings).

"Hmmm...this restaurant is pretty nice.  I like the antique feeling it expresses.

Oh good, here comes a young couple now.  I hope they sit nearby so that I can pry into their date.

Sweet, they're sitting close enough for me to see and hear them.

Handsome young fellow.  I like his blue sport coat with the black button down shirt underneath.

I wonder if they are married?  Oh, he's telling her all about his job so they must have just recently met...Wonderful!

I hope she moves over a little because I can't quite see her through that pillar.

Ah, she is excusing herself.  I'll bet she needs to check on her hair and makeup.

She's poorly dressed for a first date.  A gunnysack would look more appealing than that rag of a blouse, and what the heck are those things on her legs, orange nickers? 

Oh look... he's dialing someone on his cell...  WHAT, he's calling someone sweetie.  It looks like we might have a player here?

Geesh...  The sap is lying through his teeth...says he's working overtime at the mortuary.      Kissy noises... how quaint.

Oh my, she's returning.  Wait... is that toilet paper hanging from her trousers?  Yes... yes it is... a good two feet of it, and it looks like there is something smeared on it...

Oh my God, I can smell it!

Whatever shall I do?  Should I go and warn her about it right away, or wait and see what transpires? 

I'll just see what happens, Hee hee.

They are talking again as if nothing were wrong.      Ah ha... his expression is turning rather sour."

"What's wrong"? (She asks).           

"Can't you smell that"? (Sneezing).

"Sorry, my nose is a little stuffy...what does it smell like"? (She replies).

"The little gifts my dog Smoochie leaves in the yard."

"Oh my"...

"I'm feeling a little drafty...Oh, it's the ventilation system kicking on.

Look at that flag of T.P., waving in the breeze... Ha ha!"

Now he's asking her if she would mind going somewhere else... since it smells soooo bad in here. Ha ha ha! 

Off they go... Farewell cheap entertainment!"

(The couple departs...The executive smiles as he spots them in the parking lot, his date's flag of T.P. wafting behind her).

"Here you are sir, can I get you anything else"?

"Yes... be a dear and fetch me that newspaper over there please, and could you also light this candle for me?"

The End. 

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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1954239-Cheap-Entertainment