Sometimes the verbal middle finger is necessary.
|While I don’t usually ascribe to gutter language, there are times when a good, “Fuck You,” is warranted; sometimes there is no other option. Thing is, that is a result of anger, which is nowhere near as bad as hate, racism, and self-righteous arrogance. Calling someone a gorilla, and then dismissing one’s request to keep such racist name calling to themselves, deserves swift finger censure. Bear with me here as I explain.
My cousin, a Christian fundamentalist, is consumed with hate. The list is long (gays, blacks, Catholics, reason), but I will confine this to her racism and her disrespect because I want to finish before the middle of next week. I have been down this road with her time and time again, yet she won’t let go of her hate.
Anyway, recently we talked on the phone, and politics came up, where we disagree strongly. But that’s all right--the conversation still remains civil. However, when she called Michele Obama a gorilla (something she has done before), that was over the top for me. So, without saying a word, I simply hung up. I am not going to put up with that shit, because it is hateful, mean, juvenile, and arrogantly judgmental; she has a penchant for judging.
I have to add here something about respect, or blatant lack there of. As a veteran, I learned to have respect for the President, and his family. One not need agree with his policies or what have you, but respect should still be given. And respect should still be given as a simple matter of humanity.
It is too bad she did not leave well enough alone when I hung up. No, she called right back, and at first I wasn’t going to answer. But, I wanted to be fair, so I did. (And I did not want to retreat totally into the passive aggressive). So I assertively yet politely told her that if she wants to hold to such hateful racist garbage, if she wants to think Michele is a gorilla, that is her right, but to keep it to herself, because I do not like that kind of talk.
And I thought it a fair request on my part. But there was no give or humility from her. She dismissed me with, “You say things I don’t like!”
My patience ran out, my anger rose like steam, and I let loose with a most sincere, “Fuck You.” What else could I do? I was totally exasperated. I was already ticked at her racist disrespect and self-righteous smugness, but this was too much. It sounded like a desperate attempt at justification to me. I say things she doesn’t like, so that makes what she said okay? No, I think not.
I’ve been hearing this bigotry, this hatred and closed-minded self-righteous arrogance for years. Once she told me gays should have no rights. Once she told me the Pope was going to hell. Once when my Mom was in the nursing home, a stuffed bear disappeared that she had given Mom, and, upon her learning it had disappeared, she muttered, “Fucking Blacks.” No evidence whatsoever, just an illogical leap to judgment.
She seems not to care who she hurts or offends. I have been patient, and have tried reason, but reason has failed, so I let her have it. But by the same token, I suppose one has to feel sorry for someone whose mind is so poisoned like this.
And, while I was not necessarily summing up her entire character, I said I thought she was an idiot. I also let her know, before I hung up again, what a hypocrite she was by saying this: “According to your theology, your God supposedly made everyone, yet you sit there and call Michele Obama a gorilla.” And then that was enough for me.
Apparently she wanted to fight--I don’t know. The phone rang again, but this time I wasn’t in any mood to do any more, so I simply turned off the answering machine. The phone must have rung 30 to 40 times. So I don’t know if it was anger or desperation on her part.
I also turned off my cell phone, yet she was able to leave three messages. But I do not know what she said on any of them, because I deleted them without listening. No, I was in no mood to do more battle, or listen to any more of her insanity. I can't begin to tell you my level of disgust. I can't rule out contrition on her part, but I doubt it--I doubt it would take three messages. Plus, I know of her self-righteous pride. She loves her hate too much to let it go.
My loving heart and sensitive spirit need to recover from this antithesis of love and understanding. Maybe the finger censure will have served as a swift slap; perhaps it knocked some sense into her. I don't know. It doesn't seem likely, but hope springs eternal.