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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1959114-The-Fact-I-am-Stressing
Rated: 13+ · Poetry · Action/Adventure · #1959114
A satirical poem about a sheriffs wrong use of power.
The Fact I am Stressing

In the town of Big Gultch... in the county of Bliss,
Walked a sheriff whose story you won't want to miss.
Lolly Pop was his name... he was sweet for the ladies.
A sucker for perfume, though still in his eighties.

He spackled his wrinkles each Saturday night,
Hobbled down to the tavern to choose his delight.
Sweet Hagatha Banks was the girl he pursued,
But she was too young, his advances were rude.

He made enough money, that wasn't the issue,
Twas a lump in his pants, poorly made out of tissue.
A delusional wink from his wandering eye,
Lolly wasn't your "typical" skirt chasing guy.

He was skinny and gaunt...he could dance on his toes.
When he looked at her hiney, his "spirits" arose.
Sweet Hagatha swerved to avoid his advances,
But Lolly continued... thought he'd take his chances.

Lolly's power position made liberty his,
But she wished that the man would stay out of her biz.
With a couple of brews... Lolly thought he was king,
He kept whispering words in her ears that would sting.

She had wandered outside...tried to sneak from his sight,
But he followed, and found her, Miss Banks, his delight.
Lolly stumbled to kiss her while tugging her waist,
Then suddenly cringed with a pain he could taste.

Sweet Hagatha's hand, grabbed up Lolly's old parts,
She squeezed them so hard that her nails felt like darts.
Within seconds, the sheriff fell fast to his death.
Twas a horrible scream that had been his last breath.

Miss Banks looked around, not a soul was in sight.
She'd been her own hero, that hour, that night.
She scurried back in, with a smile on her face.
Walked gracefully back to the bar... took her place.

Someone found sheriff Pop on the very next day.
His eyes were wide open, and crossed, so they say.
The coroner said, "twas a massive attack,
His heart just gave out, laid him flat on his back."

So if you're a person in power think twice,
Before you abuse, take this poem's advice.
You never can tell, with the person you're messing,
They may find you dead... that's the fact I am stressing. *Skull*   

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