by Roch Lazarte
An essay inspired by Charles Warnke's You Should Date an Illiterate Girl
|Never date a girl who writes if you want a quiet life. Regardless of what she says, she will always have something in her mind. Something she wants to change about the world, something random she wants to do. And most probably, she will want to do it with you. It could be something as mundane as having coffee together on a quiet Thursday night or as spontaneous as driving up North on a cold Monday morning to skip work just for the hell of it. She will always have things in her mind, and she will want you to be on board, all the time. If you are not prepared for that, never mind a girl who writes.
Don’t bother trying to impress a girl who writes with flowery words and peculiar compliments, because a girl who writes also reads; she has read far better declarations of love go to waste; she has read about heartbreaks and true love and everything in between; and she will not be swayed by mere words spewed out like confetti. She will see right through you with her piercing eyes. Never mind a girl who writes if you want her to shower you with compliments, too.
Be interesting enough and keep up with what she wants to talk about, and she will fall in love with you in a day. She will love how you could level with her weirdness and how you could pull at her strings when she starts to drift away to her dreams. She will fall in love with who you are and everything about you—from the way you say certain words to the way you hate silly things.
Don’t date a girl who writes if you don’t want to be written about, because you will be. Every conversation equals a poem, a random coffee date a sonnet, and an entire night together an epic. Your relationship will be an ongoing love story, without an ending, even if you decide to end it. Because she will not stop writing, not even for you.
A girl who writes understands sadness. She dives into it with open arms, prepared to feel the water drown out the outside noise; she holds her breath—and her heart—until it’s time to come up for air. Don’t bother with a girl who writes if you think sadness is a tragedy; she sees it as an important phase in her life and will dwell in it, if she thinks she has to. Never date a girl who writes if you think she’s never truly happy, because she is. She will be. Never mind a girl who writes if you cannot keep up with the way she thinks.
She will have short talks with no-names, and she will write out the rest of the conversation in her head, already aware of how it will go—how it should go. You cannot stop her from analyzing you when you do the slightest mishap or kindness. Don’t bother with her if you think she thinks too much, because she does, all the time.
Never mind a girl who writes if you want a quiet life because you—if you ever manage to make her fall in love with you—will make her throw sparks and paint the world with your name in bold letters; you will make her want to always change something about the world, do something exciting and unbelievably mundane, all in the same day.
Never mind her because everything she does is filled with moments of colorful quirks, followed by long stretches of a quiet resolution to just be. Her world never stops with where she is, what she knows, and what she wants. Because her world revolves around her imagination, her constant what if’s, and, if you’re lucky, you.