We talked on the phone, sent emails, communicated via internet, yet hadn't met, until...
|I spent hours corresponding with people who were members of lists for the purpose of sharing information about our cats and sometimes other pets. The internet can be a wonderful place and then it can be a place of horror. My friend and I met because we had cats and especially because of a Siamese cat list. Having fun sharing information through this list grew to calling each other and chatting on the phone. There never were any problems and all seemed fine, except for the occasional bothersome phone call when I was in the middle of a project. Oh well, "what are friends for, anyway!". Helping my friend was the least I could do for her.
Several years passed as we got to know each other as well as anybody could with the help of the internet and the telephone. Then things changed and both of us found ourselves in situations which caused us to decide to work together to survive. She was located in a very rural area, had little contact with people because she did not drive and the isolation made finding someone close enough to give her a ride somewhere a challenge which was rarely successful. I was in a financial struggle trying to keep a roof over my head. Years ago, God richly blessed me with my house and for a while friends were able to help me pay the expenses in exchange for a place for to live. My friend who I met because of our interest in service dogs, had to move to be closer to her brother, because she was having serious health issues.
I decided to help my friend who was isolated and lonely by inviting her to move to my house. Remembering well, the past years of our friendship, I still did not have any indication or clues which would have alerted me to trouble, very serious trouble. The kind of trouble you would watch in what I would describe as a horror movie. I've tried through out my life, to be careful and also consider people in need. My friend was friendly, loved animals, enjoyed activities I enjoyed, and needed to be in a better place so, I asked her if she wanted to move and she said yes.
We had one major challenge. Both of us were on a fixed limited budget. She didn't have the money to move and I was unable to help her financially. Fortunately, another friend offered to drive to the state she lived in and bring her to my house. This was a perfect solution as far as both of us were concerned.
Over joyed to have help with the living expenses, and my friend happy to be moving to a better area and place to live, the situation seemed to be a perfect solution, or was it? Had I known then what I know now, things would have turned out differently.
The weeks went by slowly. I wanted to finally meet the friend I had been corresponding with for years and who I had spent a lot of time talking to over the phone. When oh when was she going to arrive, tick tock, went the clock, too slow as far as I was concerned.
Finally the day arrived when my friend would be moving into the house. It was a joyous occasion to finally see my friend at the door. What a relief to know they were ok, and at long last see my internet/phone friend who I thought would be very relieved to finally have a nicer situation. I couldn't wait to meet her animal friends and was anxious for them to have an opportunity to get to know their new home.
For the first few days to about a week we got along well, yet It was a struggle to adapt to having her around because she seemed to be very lonely and needy resulting in her following me all over the place. Her animals were very friendly and I enjoyed having them around. My animal family members needed time to get used to these new additions to the house hold which was normal. After all, they lived here first and so of course this was their territory. "Who just invaded our territory??" I can imagine them asking me. I figured they would eventually adjust.
My new housemate seemed to be as she was on the cat lists and over the phone, so I thought all was well. Certainly adjusting to each other would take sometime. This is normal as far as I was concerned and therefore over looked a few things I most likely should have noticed and taken seriously.
I was annoyed by her blocking my way around the house and outside of the house, but I thought this was part of her not understanding my situation. Having her stuff in the way as well as her leaving my stuff pulled about and around had to STOP! I know the lack of understanding was a serious cause for these problems, but really! As time went by it began to dawn on me that we had more than the usual getting used to each other situation going. Depression can cause a host of major challenges and cause disruptions as well as having nothing done because the person is in such a state. This I could understand, yet I needed to be able to move about my house and property. Inside was of the greater importance as far as having freedom because it was the better environment for my mobility. Outside I was limited because I might get stuck in my yard and need someone to rescue me. Using a wheelchair for mobility means having the place clear for the wheelchair to maneuver.
All went reasonably well for a few days maybe to about two weeks, I seemed to remember, until a fateful day when I saw only a few seconds, barely a glimpse, of the other side of my friend. Apparently she was able to keep herself together and hide her other self, or personality. Her other side scared me so badly I thought I was seeing the devil face to face. I prayed, "Oh God what did I do and please help me.", something similar, I do not remember the exact words. My spirit shuddered and I realized that I had a maniack monster in my house. How was I going to survive? All I could do is cling to God and believe He would take care of me, the situation, and of course this strange seriously ill person who had just turned into two people in one. Hopefully this was the worst but I had no idea exactly if there was anything else she was hiding.
Things continued to get worse. I did all I could think of and followed what I felt in my spirit I should do. Somehow I knew to let her do what she wanted, when she wanted, the way she wanted. But, ...but, it's my house! I thought several times, then I reminded myself about some of the events which had happened. These events were enough to drive me away from my own home. Then reality sunk in, this was no more my home, she had taken over everything. How on earth had this happened and I had't seen this coming? What had I missed and how had I missed these signs? Even if I had tried to do something, I now believed it would have ended very, very badly for me and maybe her also.
This monster, in the body of this person who I thought at one time was my friend, now was completely out of control and causing so much trouble, I thought I would need to get my animals to safety. I even considered throwing her out, but this wasn't my nature. I should have, yet, I was doing what I hoped Jesus would do in this case. Truly I held onto the hope that in time things would straighten out and we would be able to have a normal friend to friend helping each other survive relationship. I tend to not give up very easily and was doing my best to allow her to figure out she really had a good situation here, we could be friends, and that I would help her as much as possible.
Several times I had situations where people took great advantage of my generosity, yet, I still have within me the faith and belief that I should help people whenever possible. This was a situation way, way over my head. I was so far embedded in this horror movie, that I wasn't sure I would survive to tell this story. Still, I had hope and with no other answers, I tried to survive and give her every opportunity possible to get better or at least become more human.
We happened to have the same visiting primary doctor because she mostly relied on my contacts and followed much of what I did, which under normal circumstances could be flattery. However, this was far from flattery, she didn't do anything without me being a prat of whatever it may be or hour of the day or night. I guess when you are in a strange place, have mental issues, and know no one, you do that kind of survival thing. Even with the little understanding I had and with focusing on what Jesus had shown me to do in these situations, I didn't remember well how he handled dealing with spirits and other entities. Whatever I did I needed to do under cover anyway. Basically she did whatever she wanted and I went along to get along and survive. Survive! Heck yeah, I was determined to survive!
Some of the issues or challenges, however these should be presented, were her insistence I taste or eat whatever she cooked. Boy, what a mess she made, and didn't clean up either. Dirty dishes were piled in the kitchen sink which was something that didn't happen before her arrival. Things were strewn all over the place and to move anywhere I had to do a lot of shoving stuff out of my way. Getting out of the house would have to be a major digging out of the debris and possibly figuring out how to leave without her knowing and wanting to go with me.
My one awesome and wonderful reason for going anywhere was taking my service dog for a walk. This jailer had no idea I had a cell phone which I kept on me al all times. When I took my dog out, I went far enough away from the house to be unseen and to make a phone call to my friend who lived on the mountains many miles away. She asked me if I wanted to throw her out yet, but I said not yet because I still hoped things would change. Although I wa s afraid for my life I needed to be certain I would successfully be able to do what was necessary to get her out for good once I started the process. So far, as long as she was able to do what she wanted, the way she wanted and when she wanted things seemed to be fine as far as she was concerned. And, as long as she thought I was going along with no idea about the truth of the situation, I think she felt safe and secure which went along way to keeping the peace. After our walk we returned and things went as usual except I knew something she didn't and there was no way I would let her find out. I had to guard my only safe and completely private means of communication a strictly very guarded secret. If she ever found my cell phone I would be completely cut off from the freedom to communicate all of the truth of what was happening.
Often I thanked God for His protection and searched within as well as without myself for answers and direction so that I would know how to best handle this huge mega nightmare I had to endure for how long I didn't know. People weren't saying anything to me about this and living there I may have become accustomed to the smell. Not having good vision, I missed facial expressions and I suspect my hearing wasn't as good as it had been years before, so I probably missed audible cues about them noticing the stench within the house. Not to mention the horrible and ever expanding mess.
My aids didn't do anything, my primary doctor who was also her doctor didn't do anything, the other nurses, case workers or professionals said and did nothing. I was totally shocked and surprised to realize that people came and went without questioning how my house could go from decent to worse than a pig sty in a week, then quickly down hill to the sewer and further days later. It didn't take her long to completely trash, destroy, and steel whatever she could get her hands onto be they my property or hers.
Alone with no help at all or was I, could this be reality, was I really a prisoner in my own home? Friends still came around rarely but they most likely didn't know what to do. Even if they did something, what would the results be? I'm certain they didn't want to add more trouble to my trouble. Whenever possible, I did manage to let a friend or two know how desperate I was and what the situation was as far as I understood what was happening. At least someone knew this was not the way I wanted to live. They however had no idea about how dangerous this multi-personality entity could be and what kind of danger I was in. Sure, my imagination could be running out of control but I knew within every fiber of my being this was not run away imagination. The voice that emanated a laugh if you can call it a laugh was so demonic sounding, and the feel of the energy over whelmingly evil that I stuttered within and wanted to run for my life right then and there, but I couldn't. Occasionally I popped my head into the doorway to ask her something and got hit with a smell and sight which would gag a magnet. All of this in just a week or two? Seriously? Why me? I've had more than enough! If I could have rung her neck and gotten away with it I would have considered doing it, but I knew she was a very seriously sick individual. Sick! Sick! Enough already! This is my house and how dare you tear it apart and trash it, how dare you!
Then the day came when I couldn't take it any more. I had tried everything I knew of and knew how, and it didn't seem to matter to this, this monster. Nothing worked to try to create any changes. So, what was left? There was no way out which would be a decent ending for either of us, I felt threatened everyday. She didn't have apparently any humanity left nor concern for herself. I realized she even possibly didn't have any respect for herself or belongings much less any self worth left. So, I blew my fuse and figured I might as well fight fire with fire.
A memorable day when I exploded all over the place. If you can't change anything, or beat'em, you join'em. I shouted, yelled, ranted and raved, dumper things and made my own mess. "Fine, if you want to live like this I'll give you all the mess you want and more. You want to play this game, I can play this game!" Well, I don't exactly remember everything I said and the exact words, however I knew even though I dumper a lot of stuff, I was careful to choose unbreakable things, and be on the look out for things which might be hidden that may break. I even dumped things carefully but hurriedly. I tried to put on a show to end all shows for effect in hopes she would realize I was beyond my breaking pint had more than enough of her doing these things.
After my rage, I went to the other side of the house. Next thing I knew, she was yelling and raging as she quickly moved up the ramp and through the living room door and confronted me. Holy cow, was she raving mad! All I could do is sit still and face her. I said nothing. What I didn't want was for her to become more incensed and out of control. As much as she tried and often succeeded in making people think she was seriously disabled, she when ballistic with me the prime target, was a fury even a train wouldn't want to tangle with because it was vey possible the train would lose the battle.
This tornado started a whirl wind of throwing all kinds of breakable stuff at me. One object flew then another, then another and on this went until I believe she ran out of things to throw. There was glass all over the living room and fortunately even though she hurled these items at me reasonably accurately, nothing landed in a a way which did a lot of harm. I wasn't cut, bruised, or injured in any other way thankfully. Then as quickly as she raged, she disappeared.
My new enemy had thrown breakable items at me because she retaliated against me emptying my stuff and some of hers onto the floor. I thought that if I blew up and tossed things around she would have a change of mind and heart about what she was doing and how she was treating me. I was right! Now I knew she was for certain able to go into an out of control rage and possibly attempt to kill me. I had to do more than try to handle this myself and I had to start creating a paper trail.
Reaching for the phone, I called the police, then waited. It seemed to be about a half hour before the police arrived, but I suspect it was much quicker. He asked me what happened which I explained in detail. Then he went to talk with her. When he returned he asked me if he should escort her out of the house. Now was my chance to deal with this once and for all. December is a very cold month, she had no other place to go, and I couldn't just let her be out in the cold unprotected. I said no because of these reasons. He again went to talk with her and explained that she had a very nice room, a warm place to live, and should respect me and my home. As far as I remember she didn't respond. He left, I went to the living room, and she slammed her bedroom door. It was a relief when she would hole up in her bedroom because I would not have to deal with her antics. At least for a little while it was quiet.
Here we go again, giving someone another chance. My had no doubts my life could possibly end at any time. Sleep was fitful unless I was exhausted. Usually I would wake up many times during the night. I refused to eat anything in the house because of not knowing what she may have tampered with and because she insisted I taste stuff., which was a major red flag to me A few friends, my aid who finally realized some of what was going on, and some people from church started bring food to me. This is not the kind of weight loss program I had in mind. Oh well, I was grateful and thankful for what ever help my friends gave to me.
Even with the help I was getting from a few people, they didn't really want to get involved. One friend was over and hour away and didn't know for a long time the situation I was in with this, this... unpredictable person. Some examples of her controlling personality were enough to make me want to throw any and all knives away as far as I could for eternity. There were other episodes which would frighten someone who had nerves of steel. One time she lit her hair on fire and acted ike it was no big deal. That scared me for certain because I had the though of her possibly setting fire to the house.
She wanted long sharp knives on the kitchen counter all of the time. It didn't bother her when she accidentally lit her hair on fire. When she moved in her bedroom was spotless with a nice waterbed and clean sheets, much like a hotel room prepared for royalty or someone of great importance: now it was worse than a pig stye. The demnding, the fighting, the listening in on my phone conversations, the way she wanted to go to the store yet would not unless I went with her was worse than having myself handcuffed and thrown into jail. As if this weren't bad enough, she did everything possible to make me mad at my friends and my friends mad at me. I felt like a trapped animal waiting to be slottered. My friend turned out to be several monsters in one body, yet somewhere there was a human being hidden under this mental mess that had reared it's ugly head, or rather, heads.
Who was this collection of monsters that did the opposite of whatever I ask to be done? No matter what i did, being nice, being assertive, even being out right demanding, it didn't matter. The only way to keep the peace was to allow the monster to own every inch of space, time, and actually all that was wanted and desired.
Trapping me in the house, from going from room to room without difficulty, getting outside in an emergency, was more than scary. what would I do if I had to get away when this monster did everything to hold me inside the house. It was like it/she knew what I was thinking. Writing this is starting to cause me to feel very uncomfortable inside, like reliving the events over again.
I was afraid for my life and safety. My friends did not visit as often as they had before she moved in. My ability to communicate was hampered because she would evesdrop when I used the phone. She never left the house and if I left the house she wanted to go. rarely did I leave the house without her tagging along.
With all of the sudden and very unusual changes around my house, I did not understand why my nurses, home health aid, or any officials didn't investigate.
When I complained about the sink over flowing because she had it full of soaking pots and pans she put these items in the bath tub in her bathroom. Her room smelled like a sewer and I was unable to get her to do anything about the problem. When ever she touched something It usually got broken. If she wanted to cook, then I was bothered by her insistence that I eat or at least taste whatever it was.
Sleeping was rare. being alone almost didn't exist unless she was enraged and mad about something, then I had to worry about what she might do to house, property or me. Actually I didn't know from one moment if I would be alive or dead. Only when she disappeared into her bedroom was I able to do something without her wanting to know what I was doing.
With the exception of my friend who had driven her to my house, I had no one I could rely on to help me because they did not know what was happening, not in the beginning. She was always being nosy and wanting to know what I was saying or doing, which was one reason I needed to be careful about what I said when conversing over the phone This made talking about the situation almost impossible.
Finally, I decided, If I was going to survive this, I should call the police. I did and they wanted to remove her from the house. It was very cold and with no place to go she would terrorize me and wind up inside again, so I allowed her to stay hoping she would realize that she should change her ways. Nothing changed, oh, it was peaceful for a day or two, but then it started again and was worse.
My salvation was having a cell phone she didn't know I had. I would use my power wheelchair and take my service dog for a walk. Making a phone call to my friend for help was my objective. She said she would take me to the court house on Monday which meant trying to stay alive for three days. That was the longest weekend I experienced in my life. I was relying on my heavenly father to take care of me.
Going to the court house was a challenge because i had to get out of the house without alerting the monster to what and why I was going down the road. I thought I had successfully escaped, but when I returned she demanded to know where I had been and she knew I had lied and not had a doctors appointment. This interrogation started because she thought that my friend had left. She was going to spend the night because the sheriff was going to escort my house monster out of the house sometime after 4 pm.
She was shocked like a deer caught in the car headlights to realize that the sheriff was going to remove her from my home. He was a large man who looked as if he would be able to easily knock over a football team. Some friends arrived to support me, and we started discussing what could be done to help her animals. The sheriff ask us not to say anything because he was afraid she would go off. If this guy was scared to deal with her, what chance would I have if she remained in my house?
Finally she was ready to go. a cab was waiting, and the emergency response domestic violance team went with her. My friends and I comforted her animals and the we got some sleep. Finally I could sleep without having to fear for my life. Her animals went to rescue, she went to a shelter, and I still was concerned she would try to do something eventually. Fortunately do something eventually did not happen.