Oh Yeah? I'll Get You My Pretty!

Ah, April Fool's Day. What an entertaining and almost evil this day had always been when my kids were at home. Not evil in the satanic way, no, more like a competition to see who could pull the best (or worst) prank on another. It may seem an unfair advantage that I, being an adult, could often think more creatively when scheming my pranks. Therefore, I thought it only fair to be gentle in my approach to pulling pranks on my children.

Once they were old enough, my children would search the data banks of their memories to recall past tricks that I had played on them. They then, would go about working together to get the best of me; they would take my ideas from the previous year, and brainstorm on how to use it against me, but in a way I wouldn't pick up on. I caught on to this fairly quickly, and it was war! A humorous approach to war, but war no less...I would be the victor!

They were teenagers by now, and becoming quite clever in using my own techniques to best me. This required that I take an equally tricky approach, but it had to be something they would never suspect. I had to become more creative, more imaginative, and yet keep it cruelty free. My daughter got me good with the ole "Vaseline on the door knob" trick that she herself fell victim to the previous year. I should have seen it coming, ah, but she got me. I took some pleasure in the fact that when I fell victim to her payback, she was still at school. Her tricky little mind was busy before I even climbed out of bed. But at least she didn't get the reward of watching as my face crinkled into a look of disgust as my hand slipped on the greasy knob.

Scouring my mind for a rebuttal, the most perfect trick came to me. I got busy setting up, what I knew would top her move by far. It may have been a bit extreme, but sometimes, a mother has to do what she has to do. I carefully stretched a large piece of saran wrap across the toilet bowl, being sure there were no wrinkles to be seen. It was crystal clear. I lowered the toilet seat back into place. I repeated this process in the second bathroom. I wasn't going to miss my opportunity to conquer my opponent!

It seemed like forever as I waited for the kids to get home from school. When they finally did, they both crept around the house as if waiting for a monster to jump out at them. I carried on with what I was doing just like any other day, calling out my greeting to both of them. I knew it wouldn't be long, until I heard the results of my efforts. My daughter always went to use the bathroom shortly after arriving home from school.

Nearly simultaneously, I heard the screams of revulsion from both of them echoing throughout the house. It turned out better than I ever imagined. I got them both at the same time! My son got the least of the damage, but my daughter, well, I think she may have had flashbacks of infancy, and how it felt to soil a diaper! That particular year, Mom was indeed the victor!

In the years to follow, I checked very carefully on April Fool's Day, prior using the toilet.


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