Written for Advanced Non-Fiction Workshop
|I’ve never been good at taking subtle hints. Well sometimes I’m actually hypersensitive to hints I swear people are giving when they’re not. I’d prefer people to politely come out and just say how they feel. This is especially true with men I’m dating or talking to, I need you to come out and tell me how you feel and what you want.
My most recent example is the guy I’m dating Cale. At least I’m going to call it dating. Cale and I met on a dating website. We went to watch Runner Runner at the theater after I got out of my Monday night class. After the movie he came over to my apartment and we talked for about three hours.
Tuesday Cale came over after I got home from my doctor’s appointment. We talked and cooked dinner, and spent some time together. Wednesday he called me and asked if I wanted to go to the AT&T store with him to gripe about his Internet being too slow. Instead I had to go to work, so during the 15 minutes before I had to clock in, he came up there and hung out with me. Thursday after he got off work he came over, and as soon as I opened the door he tossed a little Halloween ghost stuffed toy at me that he had won from the machine at work. We ended up going out to eat but he ended up making me pay for my own dinner and he paid for his separately.
Friday I had to work again, and didn’t get to see him before I had to go in. We texted throughout the night, and around 9 pm, an hour before we closed, I began to sweep my designated area. I was about half way through when Samantha, our personality, pointed for me to come up front. I thought she needed help with customers, but I was surprised when I realized that what I thought was a customer waiting on a to-go box, was actually Cale. He had gotten sent home from work a few hours early because they were so slow. He had invited me to a party which he thought was Saturday, but learned it was actually that night. I finished up my shift and Cale met me at my apartment so I could change for the party.
I missed the bonfire and the Kevin Fowler concert because of having to work. We took separate cars to the party, which we were the first people to arrive. It wasn’t long until more people started showing up. Since I don’t drink much beer, Cale made me a whiskey and Coke that was incredibly strong. A couple hours into the party, Cale talked me into playing beer pong. He played with one of the party’s hosts, Ryan, I needed a partner, so right as this guy, who we all knew was stoned, walked by, he immediately got roped into being my partner. At first I was unhappy having him as my partner because I was sure he had to be too stoned to make any shots, but to my surprise he made more shots than I did. The party was going well, but people had come and gone, so Cale and I say on the porch with a few other people. Amdist conversation Cale made the comment “we’re not dating, so it doesn’t matter.”
“We are dating, we’re just not together.” I responded.
Cale already told me he wouldn’t wasn’t going to come home with me, but assured me it wasn’t because I had done anything wrong. On Saturday night he had to work, so I decided to go surprise him at work like he had surprised me. Earlier in the day my car broke, so I had to talk my friend Robert into not only giving me a ride, but hanging out at the bar with me. The bar steadily grew more crowded as alumni filtered in after Homecoming festivities. I really only saw Cale about twice while he made rounds cleaning up beer bottles, we barely got to speak. As Robert and I went to leave, I did make it a point to go say goodbye and give him a huge, and wish him a good night.
I truthfully can’t tell if Cale is still interested, or if he’s starting to move on. Going into the situation with Cale was not in the hopes of getting attached. I kept telling myself that I graduate in seven months and didn’t see the point in getting too serious with anyone. Instead I’ve made what I feel is a connection that I thoroughly enjoy, and I want more, but rather than any mutual feelings being obvious, I’m met with mixed signals. All I want is some definitive direction in our situation.