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by Krum
Rated: E · Other · Comedy · #1996420
As a gangster, what would you say in the court of law to avoid a lengthy sentence?
I'm an Entrepreneur,
Not a thug.

I don't sell illegal merchandise.
I sell merchandise a couple of years before it hits the market.

I don't intimidate my customers.
I provide them with more efficient and cheaper alternatives.

I don't bribe government officials.
I contribute to their funds when their goals are in-tuned with my beliefs and the beliefs of my constituents.
Like a political actions committee.

Like a political actions committee,
If they fail to do what they say they will do
I hold their feet to the fire.

I don't drive out the competition.
I merge with businesses that want to join
And outsource, outperform those that don't.

I don't spit on authority.
As a matter of fact, I hold many events as a show of appreciation and support
To the men and women who make our streets safe and sturdy.

I don't kill people or condone the killing of people.
These are purely accidental circumstances
Beyond my control and jurisdiction.

Just because someone works under me
Does not mean I dictate his every movement.
Would you imprison an entire corporation as a result of one man's mistake?

If any of my employees are found guilty for the death of any person,
We hold an investigation and terminate them shortly thereafter.
By no means do I condone killing of any form.

I run a respectable business.
I support a wonderful family.

I pray before lunch.
I have never missed a day of mass.

I'm an Entrepreneur
Not a thug.
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