creating distance doesn't mean you're alone.
|Sometimes, it's really better to be alone, with books tickling your mind, with people just passing by staring them from head to toe. It's happier when sitting alone on a bench, with earphones in your ear and enjoying looking and reflecting at those beautiful creatures that God has made.
Well, it is really good to be alone...without people noticing and criticizing you. What's the best part is that you are staring or saying something about them in your mind without their awareness.
It feels right to be alone and have a little distance from others. It's not that I'm afraid with people, but it's traumatic that they will talk behind my back...AGAIN. I was once friendly, once an optimist; but without any bitterness, I could say that too much attachment and care for others unconsciously bring us to the world of lonesomeness and even us, we create distance towards ourselves. I hate this. I hate caring. I hate loving. I hate socializing. That's why I have created a hundred walls...Walls without love, without trust, without smiles. And until this very hour, I'm still building it with determination for them not to enter my world again.
It feels right to be alone and have a little distance from others...because when you expect that they can fully accept you for who and what you are, it's always painful in return. You sigh, you weep, you need shoulders to lean on, but you'll just find embracing yourself. In fact, all of us always do our very best to cope up in this world where we are stepping our feet on. I just wonder why are some voiceless beings, they are the ones who got the large number of friends? Why most of the time, those who are bringing us to the worst of our lives have held the hands of most people? So, do they find me boring? Sometimes, I just do what they used to do...saying vulgar words, shouting nonsensical utterances from the top of my lungs. But I failed. And it hurts, you know? What is the worst phase that ever people would encounter is being "the others" just to be accepted in this roller coaster world. I just make myself bad. I'm such a weirdo. I can't create my own identity. No man is an island as they say. But I think, it's far more better than to be with the persons who are fooling you in the straight 365 days of your life.
It feels right to be alone and have a little distance from others. Why? Because we are misjudged and misinterpreted. Then, they'll say that they're scared of you? Nah. Illogical reason, right? Without knowing that your foremost concern is for their own good. They're feared of you for you're such a bipolar, man! *Laugh* Do they know that they're the major reason why you're changing your mood every second for the fact that you feel so alone having them? Are they really afraid of you? Are you a half-witch, half-dinosaur creature? I think so. Just kiddin'. :D But just reflect on this scaredy-cat thingy. We will never feel anxious towards a person of we don't think any unplesant and rude things to them and don't talk behind their backs. With this experience, I'm so convinced to be in the bluest blue. :D
It feels right to be alone and have a little distance from others. You are happy without their awareness. You are crying but they do not notice. Why do you mind to tell them when they do not care? In every minute, I feel jealous. There are burdens that you face and you simply need them to be on your side. But they chose to sympathize the persons who have murdered their fingernails; their friends who are running out of make-ups; or the ones who got a hole on their socks. But they remember you at the hardest part of their life. Your tears are just natural quoted them. I'm used to this kind of drama so this is nothing to me. Inhale. Exhale. Tears began to form in my eyes. It so sad to be with others. And you'll find the greatest happiness when you're alone.
It feels right to be alone and have a little distance from others...because there's no one who'll leave you. You don't have any person at your back you will bring you down secretly. There's no one who will pass their cross on you. Nobody will shout and treat you as an underdog as if they are the owner of the universe. In self alone, there's no competition...no pressure and worries, no frowning facade. It's better to be alone rather than have "friends" who are losing their senses when it comes to you. Get a blind fold and love yourself more.
It feels right to be alone and have a little distance from others.
This is not a sign that you are so "forever-alone-person." Standing in your own feet only shows that you are strong enough to handle things on your own without sticking yourselves to the persons whom you know are stabbing you at the back. Sometimes, it's really funny...seems like you have to kiss the ground for them to like you. Nah. Oh come on. Don't be so desperate. All of us can stand alone. If you think that they're so lucky for having many friends, I guess you have to change your view that this very hour you read this. Just smile so widely, so sincerely and put our hands on our left chest.
If you feel that your heart beats in rhythm, thank God you're alive.
It feels right to be alone and have a little distance from others because you will always be with the only person in this world who have always remained faithful to you...
No one, but YOURSELF.
And the One who's the reason why you can stand alone...
"I'm alone but happy because I have nobody to lose."