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Rated: E · Short Story · Health · #2005184
How I am going to live with these illnesses.
{size:5Where I am Going to be With My “Invisible Illness”

Part Three of Three



First of all and most important of all, I will get closer to God.  I will give him more of my time by studying his Word on a daily basis.  I will love more and deeper, I will pray daily, I will definitely have more faith and less hope.  Hope and faith cannot be compared, hope is like dreaming or wishing, while faith is believing with your heart, soul and mind in God.  Faith is putting your trust in God and knowing that he will provide us with all our needs.  Not what we think we need but, what he knows we need.  “Mathew 6:34, Take therefor no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for things of itself.  Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”

I will live and appreciate the person that I am.  If I can't learn to love this new me, that's okay because I know in my heart that Jesus loves me no matter what.  I will become more patient, not that I have much say in this.  Since my body and mind move so slow these days anyway.  I am a work in progress!

I will take the time to smell the roses.  Oh! How I will appreciate the beauty that God created for us to enjoy.  To sit out on the porch more often and take in the breathtaking sunrises, sunsets, the moon that gives light to us at night and the stars that sparkle and shine above us in the night.  Mom always said that each star you see in heaven, represents a person that passed away.  I know that we do not go to heaven upon our death, we just go to sleep until judgment day. But I still love mom's inspirational perspective. 

When I take the time to look around me and see all that He has created and appreciate the beauty God has given us here and now.  I find peace and tranquility within those moments that I spend reflecting and awing at the intricate details of all my surroundings from the blade of grass to the towering mountains.  This peace and serenity will see me through the

I will pray for strength to avoid worrying about things I cannot change and change the things I can.  Worrying doesn't change any outcome of a situation, but prayer and faith can change any and all circumstances.  And, I cannot change on my own, I have tried and it didn't work.  But, my studying His word, prayer and totally undoubting faith he can change me from the inside. 

I will contribute to the world with whatever special gift or talent that God sees fit to give me.  Throughout my years he has provided with a great deal of insight and wisdom. Often times I was embarrassed or ashamed to share it, or thought it would be wasted on a particular person.  But, that judgment was not mine to make, God would not have provided me that insight if He did not mean for me to use it.  I have made a lot of mistakes and bad choices, mainly because I was not listening to God.  I tend to think I know what is best and who will accept the knowledge that generously given to me.  Every time I used knowledge is a manner I thought was best, it turns out it was either wrong advice or wrong timing.

I don't know if God as caused these “invisible illnesses” which I have.  But, because of these I find myself a lot less judgmental of people.  He constantly reminds me that I do not know a person's story or what they may be going through at any given moment.  A homeless person is usually judged to be lazy, unmotivated, wants a handout  or they have created their own hardship.  Through my experiences: fires that burned our homes to the ground and left us with only the clothes on our backs; a baby who came into the world and called away at 2 months old; 10 years of being heartbroken because we could not have a child; being blessed with a child at a time totally unexpected; the heartbreak of watching a loved one die of a slow painful death; the illnesses I live with each day and blame for some of the actions and decisions I have made. 

People look at me and may talk to me, and generally decide what kind of person I am because of my outward appearance.  Most do not take the time to know who I am deep inside.  They judge me without knowing my story or history.  God has given me the wisdom to know this and desires that I do not judge someone or base my opinion of them by outward appearance.  He doesn't even ask that I learn their story, he requires of me to just freely love and give and leave the judging to Him. He tells us that vengeance is His.

I will pray earnestly for  physical and mental strength to push myself beyond my “invisible illnesses.”  I can then by the example, lead others to believe in the power of God.  To those who personally know me, no words will need to be said.  To people who do not personally know me I can share my story and praise God by giving him the Glory. 

Jesus saith unto him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life; no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”  John 14:6}
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