Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2008287-Mario-and-the-Mane-Six
by Sara
Rated: ASR · Novel · Comedy · #2008287
Mario and company end up in Equestria. Don't like = don't read.

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and Super Mario Brothers. A show and a video game that both changed the world. Spawning fans of all ages who, despite being saturated with joy from these franchises, still crave more. Receiving massively positive review after another with every addition introduced for them. They overpowered every other franchise created by the companies that developed them: Hasbro and Nintendo. They take place in separate worlds but exist on one planet--the planet that supports life, Earth. But whatever happens on just one of these fictional worlds is never alluded to by the other. Neither of these worlds have ever come into contact. Well, they had never come into contact...until that one fateful day, where it finally happened. Nobody in any existing universe, including those of Mario and My Little Pony, knows why, but it happened. It all began in the Mushroom Kingdom.


These were the most recent words from Mario, who had been found by Wario and taken to the computer room. Now he was tied to the chair and couldn't move his limbs.

"No, please don't play it! I'm a guy, I'm not going to like this!" he pleaded Wario to let him go.
But the next thing he heard was, "ALL GUYS WATCH PONIES, YOU KNOW!"

With that, Wario turned on a video of an episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, which he quickly found on the Internet prior to capturing Mario. The intro played, with the one song that caused over a million fans to rejoice.

"My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah... My Little Pony!"

Just hearing this caused Mario to cry in despair. The realization that Wario had discovered his number one least favorite show sent him into a deep depression, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

"You're a monster! Do you hear me?" Mario was trying not to cry, but failing.
"No, you are," said Wario.
"Why is it that guys like this show? It's too girly, even for whoever they made it for!"
"You mean kids?"
"Wait until you see how many fans they have!"
"Somebody please kill me!" said Mario. Whatever did he do--he had no idea. He was at a loss whether Wario was just encouraging him to watch it the hard way, or if he was just a bitter, ungodly and rarely forgiving soul who seemed to have been banished from the depths of hell. To any other person, especially males, My Little Pony was a dream come true; but in Mario's case, it was the worst possible nightmare. He refused to watch the show, to "join the herd," to be involved in it under any circumstances. Fortunately for him, this torture didn't last as long as he hoped for.


The torturer and his victim heard a familiar voice from out of the room, and it seemed to be arriving. Wasting very little time, Wario paused the video, not caring for what part they were on. That was when Luigi, Peach and Yoshi entered the room.

"We found something!" Luigi said.
"Why's Mario tied up?" Peach wanted to know.

Now knowing he would be in big trouble, Wario quickly thought of an excuse, but everyone saw right through it.

"Bowser made me do it."
"And why do you have My Little Pony open?" Yoshi asked, seeing what Wario was up to.
"Well, I... uh..."
"He made you make Mario watch My Little Pony?" Luigi asked.
"Bowser was not involved!" Mario insisted.

The others were now calming down. Wario began to free Mario and got to the point.

"So what did you guys find?"
"We'll show you in a minute," said Peach.

Now that Mario had been free from the torture, the gang of five left the room and into the lobby. They saw a giant, glowing portal in the wall. Everyone was amazed, but especially Wario and Mario.

"Well, here it is," Luigi said.
"MAMA MIA!" Mario was in utter astonishment, as he had never seen one in years.

"Yeah, we haven't seen where it goes yet," Yoshi implied.
"Maybe if we go in there..." Wario started, but Luigi interrupted him.
"Absolutely not!" said Luigi.
"What do you mean?"
"It'll probably go somewhere dangerous."
"Oh, yeah? Prove it!"

Luigi took a deep breath and ran into the portal. He disappeared and everyone else gasped. The one exception was Wario, who knew that Luigi would fall for that.

"Wario, you moron! Luigi's gone!" Mario said.
"So why do you blame me if he's the one who went in there?" Wario asked.

Then Mario began to explain to him, completely oblivious to the fact that Wario didn't want to listen to him.

"You were the one who brought up that 'going in there' thing, but Luigi didn't want to go in because it would go somewhere dangerous. But did you accept that? No! You didn't! You didn't say you accepted it! And what did you say? You said 'Prove it,' that's what you said! Why can't you think about what you do before you do it?!"

As soon as Mario was finished, he noticed that Wario wasn't even listening anymore. Instead, the fat guy was staring down at Peach and daydreaming about hardcore romance, not paying attention to who was talking to him in the slightest.

"Wario! Did you hear what I said?" Mario asked.
"Uh, yeah! Yeah, I did," Wario lied.
"I heard every word you said, Mario," Peach said. "What in the name of humanity are we going to do now?"

Then Yoshi got the perfect idea, and said it in the most sinister voice he could to make the moment more traumatic.

"There's only one answer," he said.
"There is?" Mario asked.
"Okay, tell us what we got to do."
"We have to... go in the portal."

Then there was some scary, discordant piano music that indicated trauma, though the idea wasn't exactly horrifying by itself and everyone could see that Yoshi was exaggerating. Mario looked over at Yoshi and then saw that he was actually making that scary music, using a toy piano. Unable to complain because he knew that it would be acceptable, Mario began once more.

"You know what? You're right."
"Mario!" Peach tried to convince her boyfriend to think twice, but it was too late. Yoshi had made final plans involving what he said, and asked one more question before they did the unthinkable.

"What are we waiting for?!"

Then he grabbed everyone by the shirts and jumped directly into the portal, with his friends having to go alongside him. The four went screaming through the portal, which had so many psychedelic patterns and colors everywhere that they almost confused fantasy with reality. At that moment, Mario found Luigi and they held hands so they wouldn't separate at least for the moment.

"Oh, you're alive!" Mario said.
"And you're alive!" Luigi said.

But it was too late to react any more than that because they kept going through the seemingly endless portal. Then there was a bright flash of light that blocked everybody's view; it didn't blind anyone but concerned the heroes of five significantly. They had no idea where they were going to go, or what was going to happen, but one thing was for sure: it would be unlike anything they had ever seen.


The light had disappeared, and the gang of five landed on the other side of the portal. It was a colorful, blue-skied town; very different from the Mushroom Kingdom. The portal disappeared, but nobody noticed just yet.

Mario was the first to regain consciousness, and he did it at a good time.

"Where... are we?"

He had never seen, heard of or been to this place before, and neither did any of his friends, who were just starting to recover alongside him. Wario saw the new world around them, and the first thing to reach his mind was none other than My Little Pony.

"I think I've seen this before," Wario said.
"You have?" Mario asked in disbelief.
"Remember? I was torturing you into watching My Little Pony."

Mario did remember that, but he still couldn't figure out where they were. Then the fear of being where the show took place reared its ugly head.

"Are we in My Little Pony?"
"You mean where it takes place?" Wario asked, and was answered with a nod from his rival. "Probably."

Near them, Twilight Sparkle, a unicorn who was the main character in My Little Pony, stood, having noticed the gang of humans (and one non-human creature, which was Yoshi). "Oh, my Celestia!" she said. "Who are these individuals?"
Behind her was a pink pony with puffy magenta hair--Pinkie Pie, to be exact. "They sure don't look like ponies!"
"They're not ponies at all," Twilight said.
"We got to get them out of here!" said Rainbow Dash, a light blue Pegasus with rainbow hair, hence her name.
"Are you sure? They look pretty nice to me," said Applejack, an orange pony with yellow hair.
"You think they are?" said one more of the ponies, a shy and timid yellow Pegasus named Fluttershy.
"How is this possible? There are no creatures like this in Equestria!" said the last pony, a white unicorn named Rarity.
Now that this talk was finished, Twilight decided that the best time to meet up with these non-ponies was now.

Meanwhile, Mario kept looking around in hopes of finding out where they were.

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

By the time he was finished with this statement, Twilight and the others had arrived where Mario was. Then Mario looked over and saw them--the six main ponies of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
Now Mario realized that they were, indeed, in the world of My Little Pony, and he couldn't believe his eyes.

"So where are we?" Luigi asked.
"Mama mia!" said Mario in response to seeing the ponies. "We are in My Little Pony!"

Wario didn't believe this, but then he turned around and his eyes shot open in a flash. He was right about what he said. Then the realization came to Luigi, Peach and Yoshi, who had not believed Wario at first, but once they got a look over at the ponies, they began to.

"Who... who are you?" Twilight asked.
"We're humans! Don't you know anything about them?" Wario asked, but Mario put a hand over his mouth so he wouldn't insult them anymore.
"I'm so sorry," said Mario to the ponies. "He's right, we are humans, but we're not as bad as you think. I'm Mario, and I came here with my friends Luigi, Peach and Yoshi. And this guy's my rival, Wario."

Then the ponies began to introduce themselves.

"My name is Twilight Sparkle," Twilight said to Mario as Yoshi went up to Pinkie.

Pinkie showed a hoof, gesturing to shake Yoshi's hand, so Yoshi started to, but Pinkie playfully pulled her hoof away.

"Fooled you, I'm Pinkie Pie!" she said.
"Good one," Yoshi responded.
"And I'm Rainbow Dash, and I can clear the skies in ten seconds flat," Rainbow said.
"And my name is Miss Rarity," Rarity said to Wario, who instantly fell in love.
"Are you rich? Cause I'm rich! We should go out!" Wario said, sounding a bit obnoxious to Rarity.
"Uh, maybe later," Rarity responded, as she was not exactly interested in the idea.
"The other ponies are Fluttershy and Applejack," Twilight mentioned. Yoshi looked over at the orange pony and told a random, real-life fact.
"Hey, did you know you're named after a cereal?" Yoshi asked. "Or is the cereal named after you?"
"Now there's an awkward moment," Applejack said.
"Are you Fluttershy?" Luigi asked to the yellow pony.
"Yes, I am," said Fluttershy.

The fact that she was equally as timid as he was sent Luigi straight into love. He was unable to admit it, but it was clear, and she could see that.

"Don't say it... don't say it..." Luigi kept thinking, over and over, but he eventually lost the urge and went back to Mario.

"Hey, are you okay?" Mario asked.
"I think I'm in love," Luigi said, and Mario was quite surprised over hearing this. He thought Luigi already had a love interest, but he otherwise accepted this.
Then Mario remembered the portal that brought them here. He looked around once more.

"Where is it?"

The others were skeptical. "Where's what, Mario?" Pinkie asked.
"The portal," Mario responded.
"What portal?" Rainbow asked in complete disbelief.
"There was a portal that brought us here," Peach explained.
"Yeah, wherever here is!" Wario responded.
"That would be Equestria," Twilight said.
"Okay, thanks for telling us," Luigi said.

Mario realized that the entrance that brought them to this alternate world--which he and his gang believed would also be the exit--was nowhere to be seen. It had disappeared just after they arrived.

"It's gone!"
"Have you tried calling it back?" Yoshi asked.
"You don't understand!" Mario said. "That portal that brought us here... it's gone! There's got to be a way back to the Mushroom Kingdom!"

The other ponies had never heard of this place before and only one of them could respond.

"Where? The Mushroom Kingdom?" Applejack questioned. "You know, I've never heard of that..."
"That's were we live!" Yoshi said.
"We need to go back there," said Mario.
"You are in quite a difficult situation," Twilight explained. "I am highly experienced when magical spells are involved, so there is a staggeringly high chance that I will be able to help you return to the Mushroom Kingdom."
"Just open another portal!" Wario said.
"I'm afraid none of the spell books that I have read in the past have anything to do with portals," Twilight said.

Mario stood, completely shocked over this. This could only lead to one possible conclusion.

"You mean... you can't?!" Mario asked.
"Unfortunately," said Twilight.

Mario looked over at his friends and fell to his knees in despair and fear.


He couldn't believe it. Neither did any of his friends. But it was very true. After spending what felt like a lifetime in the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario was facing his biggest and worst fear... having to live in the setting of his least favorite show.


"Twilight's wrong. I know it! There's got to be some way out of here!" Mario said to himself. It was around 12:30 in the morning and he and his friends were forced to sleep in Twilight's house. Mario and Luigi were unable to sleep as Twilight attempted to find more information in her spell book. Mario saw what she was doing and believed she wasn't trying hard enough.
"Twilight, let me see that book," Mario said, taking the book from her.
"What? No! I need it for..."
"I don't care!"
Looking through page after page and skipping irrelevant spell after irrelevant spell, Mario was hoping and praying that he would find something, somewhere. "Portals, portals, portals! Ah, here it is: Portals."
Once he had gotten to the right page, he began to read it to himself with Luigi managing to listen in. "Due to the inaccurate magic logic assigned and protected by Equestria, summoning portals is extremely complicated to the point of resisting the laws of physics due to crossing over places as close as another room or as far as alternate universes, and can only be successfully done by advanced magic users that are not equines. No matter how hard the average unicorn tries, he or she... cannot..."
All of this information was lowering Mario's energy and making him tired. Putting the book down, he yawned into his hand.
"Mama mia, what time is it? I don't have that much time for... for a justification..."
With that, he stumbled to a nearby couch, lay down on it and went straight to sleep. Luigi was concerned and tried to wake his brother up.
"Mario? Mario, wake up! Wake up!"
His attempts were unsuccessful, however. Nothing could wake Mario up but the soon-to-arrive morning. Luigi could only sulk. "He's gone," he said, and then he got tired as well and rubbed his eye. "And... so am I." With that, he just lay down close to his brother and fell asleep as well. Twilight, who had caught this, silently took her book back with her telekinesis. That was when things got weird. Mario and Luigi had an unusual dream...

"Hey! Mario, Luigi!" a familiar voice called. The two woke up on the spot and looked up. Their arch-nemesis, Bowser, was right in front of them--and he was in a strangely musical singing mood that seemed so out-of-character.
"You guys are busted, your lives have rusted, it's all because of you not liking that show!"
Mario and Luigi looked at one another in confusion, not knowing what he was talking about.
"Are you light-headed, have your eyes reddened? I'm afraid it's time for you hobos to go!"
"Go home?" Mario asked, but Bowser poked him in the nose and he had to rub it in pain.
"No, someplace worse!" the monster said as his song began for real and he began the chorus.
"You guys are phonies, nobody's as stupid as you!
You don't like ponies, the pony-hating population's few!
Think of the bronies, your life rentals are now overdue!
You don't like ponies, the pony-hating population's few!"
Once this chorus had finished for now, he got right back to singing.
"You're doing something wrong!"
"Something wrong?" Luigi asked.
"That's not true!" Mario insisted.
"Have you guys been playing Pong?"
"I'm just a guy and so are you!" Then Mario began a variation of the chorus along with Luigi.
"We are not phonies! What do you not understand?
My Little Pony, is not in the least bit bad!
You are the phony, and making everyone sad!
My Little Pony, is not in the least bit bad!"
"I'm just a normal guy, that's all!" Mario said.
"Dude, that's, like, no royal ball!" the villain responded.
"You'll be hated by the whole wide world,
Including every guy and girl!"
Mario gasped when he heard this. He couldn't imagine such a harsh result for not watching My Little Pony. The chorus played again.
"You guys are phonies, nobody's as stupid as you!
You don't like ponies, the pony-hating population's few!
Think of the bronies, your life rentals are now overdue!
You don't like ponies, the pony-hating population's few!
I'm being dead serious here, Equestria is your home!"
When he heard this, all Mario wanted to do now was kill himself, but he didn't want to.
"You got to conquer your fear and be a brony, start the show!"
The chorus played once more.
"You guys are phonies, nobody's as stupid as you
You don't like ponies, the pony-hating population's few!
Think of the bronies, your life rentals are now overdue!
You don't like ponies, the pony-hating population's few!"
The song continued, with half of the chorus lines left in with what Bowser said next.
"You got to take what I say, nobody's as stupid as you!"
"And let me guess. Throw it away?" Mario asked.
"Your life rentals are now overdue!
"If you do, Peach and Wario will hate you, nobody's as stupid as you!
No longer will your deaths await you, the pony-hating population's few!
Think of the bronies, your life rentals are now overdue!
You don't like ponies, the pony-hating population's few!"
The song was almost over, with the last line of the chorus remaining in the whole song.
"The pony-hating population's few!"
Now that this song was over, Bowser laughed evilly.

That was when Mario and Luigi sat up, both screaming at the same time. Once they stopped, they looked around and calmed down. They were still on the couch in Twilight's library, but now it was closer to morning. It was all a bad dream. They never really saw Bowser. To top it all off, Twilight was now standing toward them.

"Are you humans okay?" Twilight asked.
"Yeah, but we're a little freaked out," Luigi said.
"We had this horrible dream!" said Mario. "It was weird, and scary, and--"
"Mario, I don't think we should tell her," Luigi responded. "I can't remember it at all."
"Me neither. How about we meet up with our friends now that it's over?"

Once Mario had finished speaking, the three went to meet up with their friends. What Mario and Luigi had just experienced was one of those moments that went unmentioned after it was over.


"So let me get this straight. We're stuck here?!" Yoshi asked, shrouded with intense disbelief and denial over what he and the others had heard the day before.
"This is even worse than getting captured!" Peach said, also not believing in her boyfriend.
"There's got to be a way out of here!" Luigi said. "We can't just be here forever!"

Wario looked over at Twilight, who was levitating a spell book toward her face with her horn glowing. To Wario, the fact that her horn glowed was just incredible. He reached over to it and grabbed it, cutting off the power. Her reaction was harshly negative.

"How does this work?" Wario asked.
"Wario, don't do that!" she said.
"But how do you do it?"
"All unicorns possess magic, so we can and will use it in our horns in our own free will. Everypony knows that!"
Wario couldn't believe what she just said. He had never heard anyone say "everypony" before. He felt as though humans didn't exist. "Every... pony?"
"That's what I said, yes."
"If you're all ponies, then where did all the humans go?" Wario asked the most ridiculous question that could ever be asked in all of Equestria--to Twilight and her friends, at least. "Are they, like, mythical?"
"Wario! Don't ask them that!" said Mario. "They don't know what you're talking about, do they?"
"No, we don't," Rainbow said.
"I think it's because this is some alternate universe," Yoshi said, "where ponies exist, but not humans."
"I guess it is," said Mario.

Then there was a huge earthquake and evil laughter. Lightning flashed and thunder exploded as though it were a giant nuclear bomb. Everyone was in fear. "What happened? What's going on?!" Luigi asked.
"It could only be one thing," Twilight said.

Then there was more evil laughter. The eleven heroes looked up and saw a huge, monstrous, maniacal monster laughing evilly as lightning flashed all around him.

"Prepare to be destroyed!" he said.
"Mama mia!" Mario and Luigi said at the same time, both of whom extremely scared of what they heard and saw.
"What is that?!" Peach asked.
"I'm Discord!" the monster-looking creature boomed.
"He holds the title of the God of all chaos, and he has been trying to destroy Equestria for years," Twilight explained. "This Draconequus--"
"I don't speak Korean!" Yoshi joked.
"--had emerged from his stone prison long ago and continues to threaten our home even to this day," Twilight continued. "The only way to stop him is to acquire and use the Elements of Harmony to destroy his power. Six magical stones of Magic, Generosity, Laughter, Kindness, Honesty and Loyalty. Once he has been defeated, he will revert to his stone form and the land of Equestria will be saved--unless he breaks out again."
"I... don't know about this," Luigi said.
"So says the one who defeated about 100 ghosts in his mansion with a vacuum at least twice," Yoshi said.
"He did?" Fluttershy asked in fear.
"Yes, but I'd rather not talk about it," Luigi said.
"The Elements of Harmony are in Princess Celestia's castle," Twilight said. "We must go there and see if they are present."
"Princess Celestia?" Wario couldn't believe what Twilight had told him. "I bet she's even cuter than Peach!"
"I'd rather you mess with her than you mess with me," Peach responded.

At least one hour later, the eleven heroes had arrived at Princess Celestia's royal castle. Wario was absolutely amazed. He had never seen anything like it. "The mother of all beauty," he thought to himself. They went up to the door and Twilight pushed the bell. The door opened entirely; they entered and started looking for the Elements of Harmony. The first one they met was none other than Princess Celestia, the white Pegasus-Unicorn hybrid princess. Yoshi could barely believe this as he fell straight into love.

"Hey! Wow!" he said. "Is that Princess Celestia?!"
"Why, yes," Twilight said.
"You have the best mom in the world, Twilight," said Yoshi, but Twilight didn't take this compliment too positively.
"Best mom? Yoshi, she's my teacher, not my mom!" Twilight said.
Yoshi was a bit embarrassed over what he had just learned. "Oh. I'm so sorry..."
"You are forgiven, unfamiliar," Celestia entered the conversation.
"By the way, I'm Yoshi," the green dinosaur-like guy told her.
"And we're looking for the Elements of Harmony," Twilight said.
"Yes, they're in here," Celestia replied. She turned her head and her horn glowed a soft red as she levitated a chest toward her. She magically opened it, but to the shock of everyone else along with her, the Elements weren't there. They all gasped.

"Oh no! They're gone!" Mario said.
"Discord must have taken them again!" Twilight said.
"Again?" Yoshi questioned.

Outside, Discord was causing chaos all over Equestria. Beforehand, he had stolen the Elements of Harmony and was keeping them for himself to ensure that no one would ever stop him.

"I apologize, but you're on your own," Celestia said. "You must defeat Discord yourself."

The heroes didn't believe this, but it was a full-blown fact that they had to accept. They quickly ran out of the castle just as Discord grabbed one of its towers and crushed it into rubble before throwing the remains behind him. This was absolutely unbelievable to everyone, but especially Mario. Getting stuck here was one thing, but having to stay until he defeated Discord was another.


Back in the town, the heroes attempted to figure out something to defeat Discord, or at least get the Elements of Harmony back from him, while simultaneously having to watch his chaotic pranks.
"I can't believe we don't have those Elements!" Luigi said.
"There must be something we can do," Wario said. "How about we fight him?"
"I don't know," Peach said. "Maybe he's too strong for anybody to go after him."
"We need something else that can defeat Discord since the Elements aren't here with us," said Yoshi. "But what?"
Then, like an answer to the heroes' fears, there was a gigantic sneeze that caused an earthquake. They were unable to believe their ears. They turned around and saw a pony, who had a pink body and purple hair, sneezing loudly and powerfully as a large pepper shaker poured its black... pepper over her, courtesy of Discord. The size of the shaker was eye-widening, at least to Yoshi. He hadn't seen anything like that before. It gave him the perfect idea: if he could use the pepper shaker to make one of his friends sneeze, maybe its force would be enough to destroy Discord. Aside from being nice and playful in moderation, Yoshi did have a mischievous side that he knew would be put to a good use.
As Discord put down the shaker and left to cause more havoc, Yoshi ran to the shaker and grabbed it. He managed to pick it up and carry it over to the others; how was unquestioned. None of his friends knew what he was up to until they saw what he was holding, at which point they cringed in fear. Mario was so nervous that he just backed off and ran to hide somewhere.
"Who's it going to be?" Yoshi asked as his friends looked at him in disbelief and all reacted negatively to when he turned his head to each and every one of them.
"Oh, no way!" Rainbow said.
"You can't do it to me! It will be the most inelegant minute of my life!" Rarity said.
"I agree," said Peach.
"Please, don't," Fluttershy said.
"Yeah, don't do it, Yoshi," Luigi said.
"Would you get that thing away from me?!" Wario blurted.
"You got to be kidding!" Pinkie said.
"Yeah, it doesn't look so good," Applejack said.
"Don't even think about it," Twilight said.
Yoshi started looking around for Mario, who had somehow disappeared from the situation.
"Hey! Where's Mario?" Yoshi asked.
"He went over there," Rainbow said, pointing her fingerless front hoof behind her.
Yoshi knew that she was talking about the side of the town hall, so he put down the shaker and walked over there. There, he saw Mario, who was looking a bit paranoid as he crouched in fear.
"Mario, what's wrong?" Yoshi asked.
"I know what you're up to," said Mario.
"You think I'd make one of us sneeze with that giant thing?"
"Yeah. That's the problem."
"Well, since none of the others want me to do it to them, I was thinking maybe..."
"That would..."
"Don't say it!"
"Leave us with..."
Just hearing this left Mario shocked. He had never heard of that idea. It was the only reason he begged Yoshi not to finish the sentence. Yet he did with nearly no remorse. It was clear: Yoshi wanted to make Mario sneeze, something nobody had ever seen before.
"I'm sorry I said that," Yoshi said. "I thought it'd work."
"Work? Work?! Yoshi, you can't do it to me! I've never sneezed from pepper at any point, ever! In fact... I've never even sneezed!"
"You know why? Because I can't, that's why! I'm Mario, and nobody has ever seen, heard or talked about a Mario sneeze. I don't care what you tell me! 'We got to kill Discord, so let's make Mario sneeze.' Blah blah blah! I’m too powerful to do something so stupid. Maybe I’d cause a whole chain of deaths! I may be human, but I'm not going to sneeze, ever! Nobody can make me sneeze, not Yoshi, not Wario, not even... anybody!"
"Sorry, Mario. None of that convinced me at all," said Yoshi, and he grabbed Mario and pulled him toward the other heroes.
"No, please! Not the pepper, not the pepper!" Mario begged, trying to convince Yoshi not to do such a thing, to no avail.
"Everybody's got to sneeze someday, Mario!" Yoshi said. "And so... do... YOU!"
He ran to the oversized pepper shaker and picked it up, somehow enduring its mass.
"Are you sure that giant pepper shaker you got from Discord's going to work, Yoshi?" Luigi asked.
"It has to," said Yoshi. "Mario has never sneezed, maybe because he's so powerful. So if the power of his upcoming sneeze doesn't kill Discord... It will destroy the world!"
"We have no choice," said Twilight. "Begin!"
Yoshi was happy to do this. Holding the shaker as though it were a bazooka, Yoshi started shaking large amounts of pepper directly into Mario's face, knowing for sure that it would work.
Unbeknownst to Yoshi, Mario knew exactly what was going on. Due to inhaling the pepper that his so-called friend was torturing him with, a powerful sneeze materialized and challenged him.
"Ahhh... Ahhhhhh..." he began to inhale over and over to indicate what was going to happen. The fact that he was going to sneeze was just bad news to Mario. He had never done it before, and if he ever did, it would be the cause of disaster. He knew he had to stop it. He put his left hand close to his mouth and held his right forefinger right under his nose in an attempt to stop the sneeze. But when he did, Pinkie ran over to him with a look of resistance on her face. She grabbed his hands, pulling them away from his face to his confusion. She was trying to convince him not to fight the sneeze. Mario continued to inhale and just couldn't respond to her actions.
"Ahhhhh... Ahhhhhhh... Ahhhhhhhhh..."
He was losing resistance already. Pinkie accepted the fact that Mario could just barely stop his sneeze and ran out of the way. Everyone else backed up as well, as they knew this was going to be a big one. At that moment, Discord was wandering around and looking for that giant pepper shaker he used earlier. He heard Mario about to unleash his sneeze and couldn't do anything about it.
The others looked on in fear, each with their own reactions. Yoshi put down the pepper shaker and ran off for somewhere to hide. Luigi and Fluttershy covered one another's eyes. Peach didn't do much despite turning away with her hands over her eyes. Pinkie jumped to the ground, hooves over her ears. Rainbow just rolled her eyes at her friends as though she had seen this before. Twilight turned her head, putting one hoof up to block her view. And Wario got out his music player and turned it on full blast so he wouldn't hear the sneeze. Even with that idea, it wasn't much help; this sneeze would be heard from all over Equestria. Mario took one more giant inhale, finally losing the battle, and it finally came: the big one, the King and Father of all sneezes, the sneeze from the powerful Super Mario.
The sneeze was just as huge as Yoshi thought it would be. It caused a horrible earthquake and blew everyone backwards to the ground, including Discord. No matter how far a pony would be, they could hear it. Every pony heard it, including Princess Celestia, who had all the windows in her castle shut at the time. Even the sneezing pony the heroes encountered heard it, and not even she could compare to it. It was the biggest sneeze that anyone in Equestria, citizen or otherwise, had ever seen or heard. Yes, Mario was extremely powerful, and it was no wonder he sneezed so rarely. The fact that someone like him was even capable of such a tremendous ability was just unbelievable. And to top it all off, Mario stood there in a daze, but recovered quickly and saw the chaotic incident. All he had to say was, "Mama mia..." in a very guilty voice, and he proceeded to rub his nose with his right forefinger; the same one he used in an attempt to stop the sneeze. Then starting with Rainbow, everyone recovered and stood up.
"Gesundheit!" Rainbow said to Mario.
"Oh, my goodness," said Fluttershy.
"Wow. Bless you, Mario. Now I know why you shouldn't sneeze, ever," Luigi said.
"Yeah! You could have killed us all!" Pinkie said.
"It was just so... unroyal," Peach said. "I'm glad it's over now."
Yoshi returned from his refuge--behind Twilight's house, where it was the farthest away from Mario's big sneeze, and said, "So? Where's the chain of deaths? Did it start yet?"
"There was no chain of deaths," Wario said. "He'd have to be a god or something. But still, that was a real mean one."
"I am so truly sorry, guys," said Mario. “And Yoshi, you better not bring this up again, or else.”
“I won’t, I promise. And I’m sorry I had to do it to you,” Yoshi said, and Mario decided to just forgive him.
Discord was the last to speak, and his dialogue mainly consisted of evil laughter and a teasing review of what had happened.
“You think that can stop me? Ha! Even a big sneeze can’t kill me off!” Discord taunted.
“Oh no! How is that even possible?!” said Mario.
"He's 99% immortal," Twilight explained. "Only the Elements of Harmony can kill him."
"How about fighting him so he gives us the Elements?" Wario asked.
"Go for it," said Mario.


Wario stood right in front of Discord, ready for what looked exactly the worst battle of all time. "You're going down, you dragon-looking thing," he said.
"Good luck with that, stupid non-pony!" Discord roared.
The others were looking on, all of them wanting Wario to win for some reason. Mario wasn't exactly excited.
"If Wario dies, then you won't cheat on me, will you?" he asked Peach.
"I wouldn't if I broke up with you," Peach told him.
"Hey, Rarity!" Wario said. "If I win, you'll marry me, right? RIGHT?!"
"Unacceptable! I reject your affectionate attitude!" Rarity said.
"Okay, this fight's what I call a no-holds barred one," Yoshi said. "If Wario wins, he has to get the Elements of Harmony. If Discord wins... well, we're doomed."
"What if there's a tie?" Wario asked.
"You get the Elements, but we're doomed!" Discord said.
"No third options! There will be no tie!" Yoshi said.
"We're doomed," said Mario.
Yoshi said nothing for a moment, then got a handgun.
"3... 2... 1... GO!!!"
He shot it (or thought he did), and though all that came out was some water that hit a nearby pony, Discord and Wario immediately began the battle, with the latter's "friends" watching and cheering him on.

Wario was punching and kicking at Discord as many times as his muscles could take it, but it was useless. The Draconequus showed absolutely no signs of pain. He threw up his arm and briefly shocked Wario with a blast of lightning.
"Physical injuries can't hurt me!" the monster taunted.
Upon this realization, Wario got out his motorcycle--which he had with him for some strange reason that nobody ever questioned because they wanted to just forget about it--and revved it up. Discord, however, smiled evilly as though he knew what his reaction would be. Wario began to speed his cycle into Discord and hit his leg, but nothing remained behind, not even a bruise. He backed up and tried again, but there was still no effect. This repeated several times, so Mario (who was watching at the time) got bored and wandered off.

"Uh... yeah. Good luck," he said as he left. "I'm going to, uh... do something else."

Somehow accepting his excuse, the others--except for Pinkie, who stupidly followed Mario--continued to watch the battle. Meanwhile, Mario kept walking as Pinkie hopped right behind him. A bit paranoid, he stopped and she began talking quickly and humorously.

"Remember that giant pepper--"
"Don't even talk about it," Mario warned her. "It's over."
"Seriously, I never saw such a big sneeze since that one time, me and Rainbow Dash pulled this prank on Rarity where--"
"Pinkie! Would you just stop with that, please?! You ever heard of a Moment That's Never to be Talked About Again? I wish what you're talking about would be one!"
"You mean a part of a movie or show that's so weird, nopony ever talks about it again though everypony could see it from really far off?"
"Yeah! Now, as I was saying... I'm kind of worried about Wario."
"You mean that fat guy with the zig-zaggy mustache? And his name's Wario?"
"Yes. I mean, I'm not sure I can consider him my best friend. He doesn't really do anything good. And Peach and Luigi and Yoshi were all hoping that he would win that battle."
"Mario! I know what you got to do!" Pinkie got a great idea. "You have to fight FOR Wario and prove to him just how much you care about him!"
"Well, I'll try, considering how powerful I am. Thanks, Pinkie!"

Mario, now feeling confident and inspired, ran back to Wario and Discord. Wario's motorcycle was now out of gas and could no longer operate.

"Allow me to handle this for you!" said Mario, grabbing the motorcycle and turning over to Discord. "Discord, stand back... I'm warning you!"
Discord's response was a roar of thunder rather than any spoken dialogue.
"Okay, I warned you!" Mario said. Resisting the heavy motorcycle, he thrashed it right into Discord's face. A giant bang resulted and several pink, red, yellow, green, blue and purple stones fell from Discord as he held his head with a goofy expression on his face.
"Did you win?!" Luigi asked when the motorcycle landed on him, throwing him backward.

Now that Mario had seen the falling stones, he grabbed them before any of them could hit the ground. "Hey! What are these shiny things?" Mario asked in marvel.
"Shiny things?" Twilight asked. "Mario, you got the Elements of Harmony!"
Mario gasped in delight. His chance was finally underway.
"You mean...?"
"Oh, we mean!" Rainbow said.
"The Elements of Magic, Loyalty, Laughter, Kindness, Generosity and Honesty, and you've saved them for us!" Twilight said.

With her horn glowing a soft purple, she levitated the Elements from Mario. "Discord shall now be reverted back to his stone state forever!" Twilight said.
"Me? Forever?!" Discord asked in belief. "What are you talking about?!"
Twilight began to apply the Element of Magic onto her body; the Element of Generosity on Rarity; the Element of Laughter on Pinkie Pie; the Element of Honesty on Applejack; the Element of Kindness on Fluttershy and the Element of Loyalty on Rainbow Dash. A huge ray shot up as Mario put on some sunglasses.
"Hasta la vista... STUPID!"
The ray shot at Discord, who could only scream, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" before turning into a stone statue. Wario looked confused, ran over to the statue and tried to break it apart.
"Come on! I'm not done with you!" Wario said.
"Actually, you are," Mario said.
"We can go home!" Mario said, and he and the others cheered in delight and possible relief.
"Using the Elements, I shall now attempt to create a portal that leads to the Mushroom Kingdom where you belong," Twilight said. "It is extremely powerful, however..."
Another ray shot from Twilight's horn, causing a glowing portal identical to the one from earlier to appear. Mario and the humans (and Yoshi) were about to enter it and leave Equestria for good when Twilight stopped them for a moment.

"Before you leave, Mario, there's something I want you five to have," she said. "And that something would be this."

She levitated a model of the Elements of Harmony over to Mario, who accepted it.

"Wow! Thanks!" he said.
"It is in memory of us," Twilight said. "It will summon a portal if you want to come back here. You are now free to return to the Mushroom Kingdom!"
"Uh... I don't know about this," Mario said.
"What are you talking about?" Yoshi asked. "Remember? You hate ponies!"
"Well, I did, but I sure am going to miss you guys," Mario said. "I don't know when we'll come back, either. Maybe we will, or maybe--"
"Get to what you were talking about!" Wario yelled out.
"Okay, okay!" Mario said. "As I was saying, I don't want to wish to see you again, but I do. I'm just a little uncomfortable about this whole 'Mario liking My Little Pony' thing. The truth is... well, I'm a male. And it's a girl's show. Isn't it?"
"Technically, but nobody has to be a girl to like My Little Pony!" Peach said.
"Yeah. Don't you know that lots of males in the world actually like that show?" Luigi asked, and Mario was so shocked that he could barely respond.
"Come on, guys. Let's go home. Bye-bye, ponies!"
"Wait! I never got to kiss any ponies!" Wario said.
"Not that you can!" Rarity said. "I imagine that you must be single!"

In acceptance, Wario turned to the portal and jumped in, with everyone but Twilight, Rainbow, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie and Rarity joining in. Then there was a bright flash of light that persisted for about ten seconds.

Mario woke up in his bedroom, in a complete daze. He had almost no memory of what had happened last night.
"Oh, mama mia..." he muttered. "What did I do last night? Was it a dream or something?"
Then he looked over at his right hand, which he held the model of the Elements of Harmony, completely intact. Mario regained his memory on the spot. This wasn't a dream. It was completely real. Then somebody knocked on the door, and Mario answered to find Wario, holding a DVD of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
"Hey, you ready for the ponies?" Wario asked.
"Oh, let's-a go!" Mario responded excitedly. With that, he and Wario ran into the computer room to watch it--something both of them would have done had it not been for the portal that made it to the Mushroom Kingdom.

From the beginning of the adventure, Mario absolutely hated My Little Pony. But now that he remembered interacting with the Mane Six, he was beginning to open up to it. He knew that one day... maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday... he would return to Equestria with his friends. No former adventure could compare to this one. No one would believe it; not his friends, not his enemies, not even Bowser himself--not that he knew, because Mario never told him. And to top it all off, Mario no longer disliked Wario. Both of them knew that they would never be rivals again. No matter how much they disagreed over things, one would always save the other in the worst situations. For the first time ever, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and Super Mario Brothers had come into contact with one another for the very first time. It was an adventure neither of the franchises would ever forget, no matter how many subsequent years had passed. It was the best memory that the protagonists of the franchises ever acquired--and they vowed never to forget it.

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