It gets this odd.
My Regular Tuesday Afternoon
Weird 20 year old: Hello thereâ¦
Caller: Hello, Good afternoon.
Weird 20 year old: Okay, why not? Good afternoon. Who is this?
Caller: Iâm calling to say I forgive you.
Weird 20 year old: What for?
Caller: I forgive you for being completely disrespectful; for shaming me. I forgive you for making jest of all my efforts to show you that I love you and falling a victim to your indefinable charm. I forgive you for never apologizing for all you did to me but instead, pointing out, in every way, why I was in the wrong for confessing my feelings for you. I forgive you for bursting into series of laughter after I told you I loved you and I certainly forgive you for comparing my face to that of a curious monkey. I know that deep down youâre a great, remarkable individual who doesnât just understand why people try to find a way to love each other in a world this cruel. I know that you feel you are the absolute voice of reason on the earthâs surface and that any one who doesnât agree with you right now would definitely face judgment by the hands of the observer of the universe. I forgive you because youâre naÃ¯ve and because you still havenât opened yourself up enough times to be wounded into falling in love. I forgive you because youâre not insecure with your feelings; youâre just unaware of them. Iâm sorry for loving you and I forgive you for throwing it in my face.
Weird 20 year old: Who the f**k is this?!