This was the first poem I wrote after over a year break.
|Contrary, yes, the beating of my heart against the fear in my gut
Yet I am obliged to move forward despite worry
Those subtle whispers just beyond my peripheral vision
That angel, that demon, they argue as to what my fate shall be
But to them I pay no mind
Following the moon to wherever it may lead me
I am the boy who denied the world
Who clung to magic when told there was no hope
I saw the waves of adulthood crashing down
I felt the heart-breaking quiver of love defeated
But, oh how I laugh now that I’ve found those eyes
Those eyes like the earth, green and vast
Those eyes are the forest where I wish to walk
My prayer now resonates through the earth
Though no gods have seemed to hear my cry before
I shall still shout it
Again, I cling to that old magic, that old hope
He is the myth, the muse, the answer
That face, that hand, that sweet taste of a new life
Tales of the fire that once laid waste to my spirit have flourished
Kin and friend weave their flaming rumors
But they forget, from ash I did rise
Now to his lips I go
Bleeding, beaten, bruised it may be, but heart is pulled from this place
I run until my knees crack
I crawl until my arms can hold weight no more
All for that boy whose spark I saw in the dead of night
I dreamt of his face, his body, his love
I abandon the ash and the scars and the doubts
Oh, oh to know his song
To know his way
Could it be I was never lost at all?
Where did those pieces fall?
Where did that aching, numbing heartbreak run off too?
It could not have been mine?
No, for this is the resounding call of a new heart, a young heart
One that has known no pain
Am I reborn?
Yes, yes, I must be
For how else could I love as though I’d never loved another?
Perhaps those gods heard those prayers
Perhaps all has happened as they intended
Lay your body by mine, my sweet light of day, and know whose arms now hold you
Think not of past regrets
Of the failed fingers that could not grasp all that you are
Watch it grow, that mad love!
What a force, that wild, mighty thing!
I have found that which I am to protect
He is the song I have sung all my days
He is the howling truth that love can redeem the damned
He is the celebration
He is the moving, beating energy driving my feet to walk
And my hands to work